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Is It OK To Yell At My Child?
0Sometimes the way we use our voices is more important than what we say. So if you are going to choose to use a loud or passionate voice with your child, give some consideration not just to your words, but to how you communicate. It …
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I Have Changed!
A recent email seemed worth sharing (with permission) as this week’s tip. Consider what you might learn from this inspiring excerpt: Since our coaching session, things have been going really well with Justin!!! What an absolute joy he has been! I could write several pages about all …
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It Works Every Time
This parenting tip will work every time! The goal of the tip however, is not to control your child, but to control yourself. If you commit to doing it, you will become a better parent! Guaranteed. Learn more about being a better parent in the …
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The Key To Consistent Parenting
It is often said that consistency is an important key to effective parenting. We agree wholeheartedly. However, we believe consistency is not so much about the method we choose, but the heart behind the method. If our heart is consistently operating from an abundance of God’s grace and …
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When Kids Act Up Breathe In God’s Presence
Terry is a typical parent. When her six-year-old daughter acted up, Terry yelled to get her daughter under control. The daughter’s misbehavior usually went away for awhile. Terry concluded, “Whatever it takes to let my child knows she’s out of line and get her to …
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Healthy Brain Food
A baby is born with a brain voraciously hungry to learn; to be formed. Experience is the brain’s food. The brain forms almost entirely based on its diet of experiences. Whatever the brain is “fed” over its first twenty some years of life (especially the first …
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The Importance Of Traditions
We live in a time and place in history that makes living a routine lifestyle extremely difficult. Yet research reveals that one of the most important ways parents can build faith and values into their children is through traditions and rituals (routines of meaning). It’s …
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What Do Kids Really Need?
What do kids really need from their parents? After years of working with children, teens and their families, we have reduced the answer to what we think are the three most important things. We’ll highlight them now, and over the next few weeks will give …
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Helping Kids Learn Independence – Teens & Tots
Building Insight And Independence Our teen-aged son had been working on a variety of “extra-credit” home projects for us as a way to earn money. (For younger parents, don’t miss Tips for Tots application below.) I definitely noticed some strengths and weaknesses in his work …
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Teaching Children To Wait
What would your child do if you left him or her alone in a room with a fluffy, tempting white marshmallow (or other preferred “sweet”)? The answer may be a convincing predictor of lifelong outcomes for your child. In a Stanford University study, a group …
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What Kind Of Praise Do Kids Need?
The Why, What, and How of Effectively Praising our Children — Part 2 of 3 Michael was struggling with homework, night after night. “This is too hard!! I’m so stupid!” His mom kept trying to encourage him, ”C’mon, you know you’re a smart kid!” Little did …
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When Praise Is Hard
The Why, What, and How of Effectively Praising our Children — Part 3 of 3 Some kids can be hard to praise because so much of their behavior flows out of their discouragement. We see these kids as “diamonds in the rough”, and the challenge …
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When Praising Is A Bad Idea
The Why, What, and How of Effectively Praising our Children — Part 1 of 3 As I bagged ears of corn at the grocery store last fall, a woman was asking her reluctant daughter to compute the cost per dozen in her head. The mom …
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What's Behind Their Misbehavior
“I hate you, Mommy!!” Carrie was at the end of her rope with her 5 year old. “Alex is always an intense kid, but he seems so angry and defiant these days. What do I do when he says ‘I hate you!!’? It really hurts …
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Tantrums From Tots To Teens
Quick Tip: Teen Tantrums Teen Tantrums are not all that different than two-year-old tantrums. So read the tip below and apply those principles. But there are some distinctions, too. Because teen tantrums are usually verbal, the teens frequently say things that “hook” our emotions. …
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Stop Whining – A Success Story!
A Thoughtful Approach to Whining “Whining” is a common problem whether children are toddlers, or teens demanding to get what they want. When parents try to make the whining or demanding stop, it usually backfires. Consider this story from a family we coached regarding the …
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Working Towards Obedience Pt. 2
We received quite a number of comments about the “experiment” I did with Eli in our last parenting tips email (read here if you missed it). Most parents reported better outcomes when they approached their kids with a “you can do it” vs. a “do it now” …
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Working Towards Obedience Pt. 1
Eli is not quite two. He is the son of a friend that is staying with us. I experimented with him this morning – in a fun sort of way. I was trying to enlist his help bringing dishes to the kitchen from our den. I wanted …
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Avoiding Those Predictable Meltdowns
One of the reasons young kids have predictable meltdowns is simply because parents set them up by unintentionally “predicting” the meltdown. We see this happen particularly during common, everyday transitions, like getting ready to leave the house, cleaning up toys, mealtime or bedtime. Here’s how …
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