It Works Every Time
This parenting tip will work every time! The goal of the tip however, is not to control your child, but to control yourself. If you commit to doing it, you will become a better parent! Guaranteed.
Learn more about being a better parent in the book “How to Grow a Connected Family.”
We have found in our coaching with hundreds of parents that the most important change a parent can make, that leads to better behaved children, is to learn to  “Stop and Breathe!” This is the first step to controlling your own emotions and reactions, and becoming safe for your children instead of threatening.
By stopping and breathing, you accomplish several important things. First, you prevent yourself from over-reacting. Over-reacting is a parent’s number one sure fire bet that the child will become defensive and unlikely to learn anything constructive. Why? Because when you over-react, your child perceives a threat.
Second, when you breathe deeply and slowy, you can relax more easily. When you’re relaxed, you think more clearly and make better choices. You actually become wiser, able to draw on past success and ideas you’ve learned from others. Do this and you’ll start to feel less threatening to your child.
Third, when you stop and breathe, it also tends to disarm your child’s defensive energy. Without their even knowing it, when you stop and breathe, your children will probably do the same. This calms them and helps them be more ready for your instruction or discipline because they will now perceive that they are safe with you.
Finally, when you stop and breathe, you “buy time.” When you buy time, everyone naturally settles down some. When people are settled, they can communicate better.
When parents Stop and Breathe, they become safe. But the guarantee is not necessarily that things will go better with your child, but that you, the parent, will think better, and feel better about your behavior – guaranteed!
Then, as you begin to feel and act better, over time your kids will probably feel and act better too.
