What if We’re Doing It All Backwards?
4Jeni wants her ten-year-old, Timmy, to be more obedient and responsible. What parent doesn’t want this? So when Timmy disobeys, and doesn’t take responsibility to clean up the kitchen as assigned on his chore chart, she enters the all too common battle of wills to get him to do his job.
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Teenagers, Sass, and Life that Is Truly Life
“Are you going to help me or not?” I snapped at Daniel, our fifteen year-old-son. He’d been asking for the past hour to go to a friend’s house. I kept dodging his request while also badgering him to enlist his help in a backyard project …
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One of Our Biggest Parenting Mistakes…
One of our biggest parenting mistakes is to try to get kids to behave right for the wrong reasons. Now it’s a good thing to want our kids to behave responsibly, and to internalize the value of responsibility. But parents tend to turn this desire …
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Talking with Kids about Tough Issues
I remember a “tough” conversation I wanted to have with our third grade son, Daniel. I wasn’t very happy about the company he was starting to keep. His behavior was getting worse as he hung out with what I concluded must be bad company. So …
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Is Parenting a Calling or a Responsibility?
If I have a child, I have a God-given calling to parenting. To view parenting as a calling instead of a responsibility can change my perspective on daily interaction with my children. My view of parenting challenges can change from, “What should I do about …
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“How Do I Get My Kids to Do What I Want?”
“No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot control another person’s behavior. You can only influence it.” ~Dr. Scott Larson from “When Teens Stray” Parents often ask us, “How do I get my kid to do what I want them to do?” This question …
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Regroup & Resolve: How Humble Pie Can Help Your Family
Every parent fails to deal perfectly with every parenting situation. In other words, we all screw up sometimes! Along the way we’ve discovered that what’s far more important than handling every parenting situation perfectly is to regroup, and resolve well. For it’s in resolving well …
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The Best Plan for Teaching Faith!
We had it all figured out. With strong desire to be more intentional about teaching faith at home, we’d put together a little lesson plan for a family Bible study. Complete with some fun object lessons and activities, it was sure to be a hit! …
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Are We Ever Really Safe?
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Humans long to be safe. We want our children to be safe. Our efforts to create safety, whatever they may be, tend to lull us into …
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Should We Lie to Our Kids about Santa?
Note: For some of our readers this post may touch a nerve. Please know we write in a spirit of wanting desperately to see the story of Jesus magnified far above all other stories – fueled by recent days of hearing story after story of heartache …
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To Spank or Not to Spank?
We often get asked, “What about spanking?” Recently it was by a parent who had explained to her pastor that her daughter’s behavior was really frustrating and difficult. She told us that the pastor’s advice was brief and to the point. He said, “When she …
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Do YOU Respect Authority?
This Election Day, there’s bound to be a candidate elected that you would rather not see take office. Or maybe an amendment that doesn’t go your way. The way parents respond when this happen speaks volumes to their kids! If we humble ourselves and pray (see 2 …
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How to Have Positive Politics in Your Home
On Tuesday we talked about the importance of practicing what you preach at home. Practically speaking, if you want your kids to learn respect and responsibility, you need to set the stage for it at home. Here’s an idea for developing great “politics” in your …
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Are We Teaching Our Kids to Bully?
I saw her coming, eyes flashing and surveying the crowded checkout lines. Her cart was full. Mine was too. I shifted my gaze to the lines as well. It was time to go and there was no way I was going to let her find …
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Uncommon Thoughts About Bullying
We’ve worked with many bullied kids, and with just as many who did the bullying. They were often the same person. As part of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, we’re continuing a series of reflections and tips that we’ve found helpful in parents’ efforts to curb bullying …
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Cooperation Made Easy! (…At least this time.)
A few years ago, I took my two young nephews camping. Just the three of us. One morning I got up early to think and pray about our day. The previous night had been fun but exhausting, so I enjoyed the refreshing solitude, focused my mind …
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When Kids Fight
Siblings have conflict. Even a little pushing and shoving can be normal. The fighting itself is not necessarily the problem, it’s what kids learn about conflict and resolution over time that’s important. This blog addresses physical fighting between siblings, but the principles apply to verbal …
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“I Called the Cops on My Six-Year-Old Son!”
Sometimes our kids don’t take things seriously because they just don’t understand the weight of their own actions. When that happens, we as parents need to think outside the box to help them understand the consequences now so that they won’t have to reap harsher …
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How to Avoid Combat with Your Kids
When your kids act up, Stop and Breathe. Breathing clears your mind and calms you down. When you don’t breathe, your brain stays in fight or flight mode and you can’t think clearly. You usually charge in and start a battle. When you breathe you calm …
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Connection in Correction (Love No Matter What!)
Our belief is that what makes a discipline technique effective is not what parents do, but how they do it. This is where the most effective technique we’ve ever seen comes in. We call it “Connection in Correction”. It’s a way of doing discipline that communicates to …
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Solving a Child’s Big Spiritual Problem
As parents who care for our children’s spiritual well-being, we try to teach them right and wrong and help them tackle whatever spiritual problems they encounter. However, other than the fact that they’re born into sin, it may well be that a child’s biggest spiritual …
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Your kids: Responsible or Spoiled?
As soon as kids are capable of doing jobs, take the time to teach them to do the jobs and gracefully hold them responsible to do them.
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Parenting Goals You Can Meet
Choose as your goals to be sure you stay calm, to be sure that your child knows he’s loved and respected no matter how he behaves, and to help him focus on his responsibilities.
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The Most Important Thing Your Child Can Do!
“Research shows that the most important thing a child can do to assure long-term well being is eat meals with his or her family. The more meals together, the better!” Over a shared dinner table, kids enjoy the time together and are embracing their parents’ values. So make a commitment. Share more meals!
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Discipleship, Consequences, and Toothbrushing
The concepts in this article can be found in-depth in Jim and Lynne’s latest book, “Discipline That Connects™”. We recently got the following email from a loving, caring parent. We believe others among you might have similar questions, so we thought we’d share! Hope this conversation …
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Connected Families | Learn to Parent with Contagious Love and Faith!