Our faces. They say a lot to our kids. Before the first words roll off our tongue, we’ve already begun communicating.
Studies show that between 60% – 90% of all communication is nonverbal, with 55% related to the face alone.*
Take a common scenario like your child leaving a trail of food, wrappers, or toys. What might go through your mind at a time like that? “I’ve talked to him about this for weeks, numerous times a day, and nothing has changed! This place is constantly a mess!”
Knowing when to stand firm as a parent and when to extend mercy can be a difficult challenge, and can leave your kids feeling confused about your authority.
Have you heard yourself say these things?
…That is not ok, do you understand me? How many times do I have to tell you?
La familia es importante para Ud. (sino fuera cierto, no estaría visitando esta página). En el día de hoy el criar hijos que sean respetuosos y responsables es más difícil que nunca y si los padres no están preparados, sus hijos a menudo pierden respeto y niegan los valores y la fé de sus padres.
Para ayudarle a ser el mejor padre que pueda ser, Connected Families ha creado su primer libro electrónico en español llamado Disciplina que Conecta. En el libro, Ud. aprenderá cuatro principios poderosos que le ayudarán a mantenerse estrechamente conectado a sus hijos cuando los disciplina con confianza y amor. Los padres que aprenden estos principios nos dicen que:
- Las relaciones con sus hijos son más fuertes que nunca
- Sus hijos son más respetuosos y responsable
- La gracia y la verdad de Jesús son una parte más natural de la vida familiar.
Si esto le parece bien, entonces descargue y lea este libro grátis. Una vez, Ud. haya llenado este formulario corto, Ud. recibirá instantáneamente acceso a este manual. También Ud. será añadido a nuestro correo electrónico semanal en inglés que se puede traducir fácilmente al español usando “Google Translator”. ¡Dios los bendiga en la crianza de una familia conectada!
We are so honored to serve you and equip you in your parenting journey. Thank you for trusting us! We always welcome your feedback and stories from how you are integrating our resources into your family. We pray there is a little something for all of you to challenge and encourage you every time you read our content.
Without further ado, here are the Top 10 Most Viewed Posts of 2016!*
10. Don’t Punish Your Child’s Nervous System – Understand It!
9. Can Family Meetings Really Work?
8. 12 Misbehaviors and the God-Given Gifts Behind Them
7. An Open Letter to the Cincinnati Zoo Mom
6. How I Got My Kids to Obey Immediately…and Why I Stopped
5. When Kids Want it NOW!
4. The New Problem of Entitlement
3. Restitution Consequences
2. Your Kids: Responsible or Spoiled?
1. How a Pipecleaner Can Stop Your Child’s Meltdowns!
*In descending order, based on number of page views on our website.
Big picture thinking is important when it comes to parenting. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment with your child’s misbehavior, responding in knee-jerk fashion to attempt to get a certain behavior to STOP. Sometimes, our swift discipline does make the misbehavior stop. But, does it teach grace and result in a child’s changed heart or in a deeper understanding about the way actions affect others and his/her relationship with God?
As parents who hope our children will walk in love and truth, we would do well to consider: How do I want my child to view God when she messes up?
Does this sound familiar? Picture yourself standing, hands on hips at the front door saying (maybe loudly, even): “C’mon, kids. It’s time to go. Kids…. Kids…. It’s time to go!!! You need to listen to me! Get moving – NOW!” Does this pattern repeat itself every time your kids need to make a transition?
It can be tough for some kids to simply come to a meal or come in from playing outside, let alone get organized to get into the car. The busier your schedule, the more times you have to get your kids away from what they are doing and on to the next thing. Since these transitions become the “bookends” of each activity in your day, they tend to create repeated patterns of either teamwork or power struggles.
Over the years, Lynne and I have worked with many families who struggle with the same issues. Time and again, we see how a change in perspective can transform a parent-child relationship from one of tension to one filled with grace. When it comes to school, grades and performance, there is often a minefield of conflict over expectations. Parents often believe that they need to create change in their child to see improvement in work ethic and performance when it comes to grades. The truth is, change best starts with the parent.
Read on to learn how one mother and daughter set aside conflict and embraced grace for homework success without nagging:
Misty anxiously told me about her seventh grade daughter, Greta.
“Her grades are tanking! She’s sassy and defiant most of the time! I know she is capable of so much more, but she won’t dig in and live up to her potential. I check her grades every day. I’ve withheld privileges, created charts, offered rewards, and constantly reminded her. But it keeps getting worse. Our fights get louder by the day!”
When you’re constantly fighting with kids who don’t live up to their potential, we suggest a new approach, a new fight: the fight of faith to walk in the “fruit of the spirit.”
Whether you call them tantrums, meltdowns, or “big feelings” – we all know that most kids (and therefore most parents) struggle at times when emotions overtake the ability to think and reason well. When it comes to dealing with kids’ tantrums, parents get pretty desperate. Unfortunately, even when equipped with the best tips and online advice, they often find themselves stuck in a familiar pattern of explosive interactions with their kids that goes something like this: The child gets upset and throws a tantrum, then the parent gets upset and angry. Suddenly, everyone is throwing their own version of a tantrum! Can you identify with this struggle?
Kids make messes. Parents ask and ask (and it really sounds like nagging) their kids to take responsibility for their things and it seems like it is hard to come up with a strategy that works. At Connected Families, we believe that there is a gift behind every misbehavior. It’s true! It might be hard to see how your kids’ messiness could be a gift, but with intentionality, and a change in perspective, both parent and child can often come to a solution that eliminates the nagging and encourages the child in her gifts.
I worked with a family recently that came up with a very practical suggestion for helping kids manage their messes, and it seemed to work. Read the following to spur your own ideas for helping your children through a particularly challenging behavior. Whether it is a messy bedroom, messy entryway, missed or lost homework, forgotten chores– consider how you might adapt this family’s solution to your own special circumstances.
Emma is one of those sunny, lively kids that spreads joy and laughter wherever she goes, along with a trail of mess–a testimony to her creativity (the gift she has). Since Emma has a sister who shares the art supplies, it was difficult to enforce consequences like putting the mess/supplies into a timeout for a few days. Each of the girls were perpetually waiting for the other one to clean up after the supplies had been used. The old adage, “If everyone’s responsible, no one’s responsible” applied well to this situation.