• father son talk

    This kid changed overnight! Here’s how.

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    Sometimes it takes a while for parents to change in ways that lead to deeper respect from their kids. Sometimes it can happen fast. When Dan attended our weekend workshop he saw an immediate change by practicing what we call a “do-over.” Here’s his report: …

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  • irresponsible child

    When Kids Stay Irresponsible

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    Brian and Jana were very concerned about how much work it was to get their 8-year-old son, Brady, to do much of anything – look up from his book when they talked, get ready for school in the morning, get dressed for baseball, take a …

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  • father daughter talk and smile

    That’s the Parent I’ve Always Wanted to Be!

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    Scene: I pace the entry at our house, arms crossed, brow furrowed, occasionally glancing at the clock on the wall. After what seems like an eternity, my daughter walks in the house. I aggressively say, “Where were you?” (Not that it matters.) “You’re late, and …

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  • mother daughter talk discipline

    What Does Your Discipline Teach Your Kids?

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    At parenting workshops we often ask the question, “What is the goal of your discipline?” The basic answer we most commonly hear is best summarized like this: “To make bad behavior stop and to teach immediate obedience.” In Hebrews 12:10-11 the Bible gives us a …

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  • parents argue discipline child

    How Will Your Kids Remember Your Discipline When They’re 90?

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    Recently I attended a family reunion. We did lots of catching up, including reminiscing over family memories. A conversation that continued to pop up over the weekend was prompted by the question, “What is the maddest you ever saw your mom/dad?” Some people shared memorable …

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  • girl at tea party with cake

    When Kids Misbehave, Throw Them a Party?? Are You Kidding?

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    Every parent wants obedient children. But the parent who wants an obedient child without putting in the hard work to earn that child’s trust is on shaky ground. You see, true obedience grows out of the soil of trust. Compliance, though it looks like obedience, …

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  • mother-child-son-talk-responsibility

    Teach Kids to Be Responsible for Their Own Actions

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    When our kids hurt their siblings, our sense of justice compels us to punish them. But sometimes punishment is not the best way to teach responsibility and wisdom. Check out this story from Jess: Our 3-year-old son, Chaz was frequently biting and hitting his siblings. …

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  • connection mom and child picnic

    When Kids Lie, Overcome Evil with Good!

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    Most parents make it a goal to get kids to stop lying. It’s a good goal. But often the way parents approach it can pit parents and kids against each other.

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  • 5 favorite tips that never went viral - pin

    5 Favorite Tips that Never Went Viral

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    At Connected Families, we get really excited about sharing our stories and the stories of the parents we meet. Whenever we publish a tip, we think, “Now THIS one they’re going to love!” But sometimes the tips that go viral are not the ones we …

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  • Eli in the garden

    Jim’s Real-life Parenting “Do-Over” — See It Live!

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    As some of you know, Lynne and I provided a home for a single mom and her baby boy for his first three and a half years. As you might imagine in that setting, we had numerous learning opportunities with this strong-willed little fella. On …

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  • bank vault

    5 Ancient Pearls of Wisdom from the CF Vault

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    OK, so these posts might not qualify as “ancient”… but they’re pretty old in internet years! Here are five “oldies but goodies” that we dusted off from the Connected Families Vault, plus a few bonus ones thrown in. 1. Consequences that Actually Work! As our …

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  • lynne-interview-snapshot

    Parenting like Jesus Would: An Interview with Lynne Jackson [video]

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    Recently CF staffer Chad Hayenga sat down with Lynne Jackson to ask her about some of her early parenting struggles and how she overcame them. Click the image above to watch the full video interview. Or, if you’d rather read, you can download the full …

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  • father son discussion

    Do Your Consequences Build Up or Tear Down?

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    Sometimes, in spite of parents’ most graceful efforts to stay calm, connect well, and parent with grace, their kids still misbehave. They are “beloved sinners” (just like us) and need corrective guidance (just like we do), with the goal of helping them learn the powerful message, “You are responsible for your life, your relationships, and your decisions.”

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  • DTC blog title slide

    Four Powerful Messages All Kids Long to Hear

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    This post is part of a series on “Discipline That Connects®: Four Powerful Messages All Kids Long to Hear”. Over the next four weeks we will expand on four powerful messages that parents can focus on as Biblical goals when discipline challenges hit the fan. …

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  • warning-child

    Do Warnings Teach Kids to Be Less Responsible?

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    When dealing with a misbehaving child, many parents follow this pattern: instruction, warning, warning, last warning, really strong last warning, angry explosion!! When we stretch out our instructions into multiple warnings and don’t follow through, it teaches our children to feel insecure under our guidance. …

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  • Did God spank Moses?

    Did God Spank Moses?

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    The story of Moses at the burning bush is (thanks to Cecil DeMille and Charlton Heston) one of the most famous stories in the Old Testament (see Exodus 3 & 4). But have you ever read it as an example of parenting? In the story, …

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  • Jesus writes in the sand.

    Would Jesus Spank?

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    We learned quickly in our home that not every child responds well to spanking. When we spanked our intense son Daniel he would glare daggers at us defiantly as if to say, “What good does hitting me do?” His spirit wasn’t “breaking” the way the …

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  • An angry father spanks his young daughter.

    To Spank or Not to Spank?

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    We often get asked, “What about spanking?” Recently it was by a parent who had explained to her pastor that her daughter’s behavior was really frustrating and difficult. She told us that the pastor’s advice was brief and to the point. He said, “When she …

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  • family-coloring

    How to Have Positive Politics in Your Home

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    On Tuesday we talked about the importance of practicing what you preach at home. Practically speaking, if you want your kids to learn respect and responsibility, you need to set the stage for it at home. Here’s an idea for developing great “politics” in your …

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  • chocolate-milk-kids

    Consequences That Actually Work! (Part 3 – Restitution Consequences)

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    Over the past few weeks we learned how effective natural consequences and logical consequences help children learn to make better choices. Today we conclude with Part 3 of our series on Consequences That Actually Work! Restitution consequences With a strong focus on relationships, “restitution consequences” …

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  • muddy footprints

    Consequences That Actually Work! (Part 2 – Logical Consequences)

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    Last week we kicked off our series on Consequences That Actually Work with a post on the importance of natural consequences. Today we look at what to do when natural consequences are not enough. Logical consequences When children are not motivated by natural consequences, they …

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  • messy-room-pout

    Consequences That Actually Work! (Part 1 – Natural Consequences)

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    Over the next several weeks we’ll be sharing three types of consequences that make sense, are easy to implement, and most importantly will really help your children learn the value of making a better decision next time! Natural consequences Many consequences, or results, for misbehaviors …

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  • Stock Photo

    “I Called the Cops on My Six-Year-Old Son!”

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    Sometimes our kids don’t take things seriously because they just don’t understand the weight of their own actions. When that happens, we as parents need to think outside the box to help them understand the consequences now so that they won’t have to reap harsher …

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  • Father scolding his son

    The Worst Punishment You Can Give…

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    The worst punishment a parent can give is the impulsive, emotional and irrational consequence that the child eventually weasels out of because both parent and child know it’s unreasonable. Dishing out a quick consequence may help you feel big and powerful at the moment, but …

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  • connection-in-correction

    Connection in Correction (Love No Matter What!)

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    Our belief is that what makes a discipline technique effective is not what parents do, but how they do it. This is where the most effective technique we’ve ever seen comes in. We call it “Connection in Correction”. It’s a way of doing discipline that communicates to …

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