Words that hurt

Parenting both the name-caller and name-called

In this Q & A, Jim and Lynne take 4 minutes to respond to a question from a mom and dad regarding their son’s hurtful words to his siblings.

“Our son constantly criticizes and teases our daughters – and anyone else that he sees as weaker than himself. It hurts them. While we want to lovingly correct our son, we also want to show our daughters that we are for them and want to protect them. We find it hard to do both. What should we do?”

By addressing both sides of the situation (the culprit and the casualties of the criticism) Jim and Lynne empower siblings to move from the resentment of ridicule to the joy of relationship.

LISTEN HERE

What you’ll learn in this audio:

  • Discover the root of your son’s negativity. Refrain from criticizing your son. Instead, talk through the feelings that are driving him to criticize others. Help him to understand the natural impacts of his hurtful words.
  • Find ways to build connection between the kids by getting them on the same team. Some ideas might include doing a service project, cooking a favorite meal, etc. Then acknowledge (with thoughtful, specific observations and affirmation) that you noticed how well they worked together.
  • Strengthen the child who has been picked on. Come alongside and encourage her to advocate for herself. Give her words to say and then roleplay the interaction. Teach her to discern the truth from trash, and how not to give untrue things power.

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