“I can’t hear you!”

How do you talk to your child when he doesn’t WANT to hear you?

“I can’t hear you!! I can’t hear you!!”

You thought his misbehavior was frustrating, but when your child covers his ears and yells “I can’t hear you!” it sends your blood pressure through the roof!

We received this question from a parent, frustrated by this very situation:
“How would you handle a child who puts his hands over his ears because he doesn’t want to hear when you are addressing his misbehavior or giving instructions?”

Sound familiar? Take a deep breath and 4 minutes to listen to what Jim and Lynne have to say about kids who refuse to listen by putting their hands over their ears.

What you’ll learn:

What his actions are communicating. I don’t feel safe right now. It’s too hard for me to listen. I’m ashamed of what I did.

How you can safely and lovingly talk to your child when he doesn’t want to hear you:

  • Start with empathy, instead of focusing on the correction. “Wow, it’s really hard isn’t it? You kinda had a rough time with your brother. Are you feeling sad about that?”
  • Engage his brain, by giving him some power in the situation. “Do you want to take some time to calm down before we talk?” “Do you want to talk first?” “Do you want me to sit down when we talk?”
  • If his hands still don’t move, talk to the hands. 🙂 “What are your hands telling me right now?”

When kids feel safe and loved, and we listen to what’s important to them, they are much more inclined to listen to us.

We love partnering with you and pray this recording was an encouragement in your parenting!


Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

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