Chad Hayenga

“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”

  Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw…

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3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!

“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded…

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Questions (Part 3)How Can I Ask Them When I'm Upset?

  Teaching the art of asking good questions is a favorite goal in our daily work with parents. Why? Because we’ve learned that lectures and…

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Questions (Part 2)The Art of Asking Good Ones

  Questions are a simple and powerful tool. Asked well, questions can open hearts -did you know Jesus asked over 300 questions?. Consider the question,…

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Questions (Part 1)The Most Important Tool for Building Wisdom

  What are the best tools parents have to teach wisdom and guide their kids? Questions! Often times we forget that a simple, well-timed question…

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Whose Problem Is It?

  Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but…

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What to Do When You Catch Your Child Looking at Porn

15 year old Dave (not his real name) ended up in my office because he’d been repeatedly caught viewing online pornography. His parents had “done…

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What to do when your kids give you a defiant “NO”

When kids say “No!” parents tend to react rather than respond. Reacting tends to lead to unconstructive power struggles that follow this basic pattern: Child:…

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“Sometimes My Kids Deserve To Be Yelled At!”

Recently in a parent coaching session a parent shared a feeling that I’ve felt a few times myself: “Sometimes my kids deserve to be yelled…

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Scared to Launch Your Teen? This Is for You.

For parents of older teens, the thought of releasing our kids into the world can be frightening, particularly if they have shown very few signs…

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