16 Best Pieces of Advice for New Dads (from Real Pros!)
Becoming a dad changes everything. The joy is profound—and so is the learning curve!
That’s why we asked some of the dads in the Connected Families community a simple question: What do you wish you’d known when you were just starting out?
Their answers are honest, hard-won, and full of grace. Whether you’re a brand-new dad, an adoptive dad finding your footing, or a seasoned father wanting a fresh perspective — there’s wisdom here for you.
We’ve grouped these insights into four themes that showed up across the responses. Take your time and read these slowly. Write down any that really hit home. And remember this: you don’t have to have it all figured out today.
Slow Down and Be Present
- Take time to enjoy your kids. Notice what makes each of them unique and focus on growth. Pray regularly and bring your concerns to God first. — Dad of 3 daughters in Iowa
- Take your usual Saturday to-do list and cut it by 75%. This will give you margin to respond to the unexpected and seize discipling opportunities (which is basically all parenting). The things you didn’t get done will fade quickly from your memory. But the feeling of an always irritated father is something your child may remember into adulthood. — Dad of 6 in Illinois
- Slow down and connect with your kids daily. It pays out in dividends! Connection builds the necessary trust for the influence you ultimately want to have. — Dad of 2 boys in Oregon
- I’m always trying to get a quick fix, to move past a problem, to get things done fast. I’ve learned that trying to parent fast is ineffective and, in the end, takes longer because there’s a lot more relationship work to follow up with after you’ve gotten to the “solution.” — Dad of 6 in Colorado
- Be flexible and don’t get too attached to any single daily pattern or routine. Rather, find ways to enjoy your kid, no matter what is going on. Developmental changes in your kids (and the ensuing changes to your daily routine) happen quickly and often. Flexibility helps. — Dad of 2 young boys in Minnesota
- Slow down.
- Slowing down means listening.
- It means reflecting before following through with that correction that might be right, but is perhaps not timely or effective.
- It means asking open-ended questions of yourself and, especially, of your kids.
- Slowing down might literally mean speaking more slowly.
- Slow down so you can stay in step with the Holy Spirit, and wisdom you didn’t know you had will be given to you. — Dad of 6 from CO
Love and Serve Their Mom Well
- Don’t be shy about kicking family and friends out of the hospital room, your home, etc., if you need to rest. They’ll understand because they love you. Similarly, if people offer to come hold the baby while you clean the house, be free to ask them if they would mind cleaning while YOU get to enjoy your baby. The same rule applies: they’re your friends and family, and they’ll understand. And seriously, sleep when the baby sleeps. — Dad of 3 in Texas
- Ephesians 5:25 calls us to love our wives sacrificially so serve, serve, serve! Look for ways all day (and night) to place your wife’s needs above your own. Encourage her. Pray for and with her. Read the Bible to her. Tell her what God is teaching you in your own quiet times. Look for ways to fill up her cup emotionally, spiritually, and physically. No matter how tired you feel, she likely has had less sleep than you, so keep that in mind when you determine whether or not she needs your help in any given moment. — Dad of 3 in Texas
- Love and serve their mom well. Support her with what she needs for nursing, or with a nap! Dads love to bring the fun. So use laughter, adventure, delight, and make it a daily effort, even when you’re tired from work. — Dad of 3 in Ontario, Canada
Grow Yourself, Too
- Get in shape now. Say yes to your children more. Let life teach your kids and ask more questions about what they’re learning rather than telling them the “right answers.” Read Philippians 4 once a week. — Dad of 3 adult children
- Be patient with your kids and try to understand where they are developmentally. Staying calm yields better results than getting angry. — DODO, Dad of Daughters Only
- You will be stretched. You will be tested! If you want to learn patience, become a parent of many kids! — Dad of 6 in Georgia
- It’s unfair to expect my children to be any different than I am willing to be. If I’m not kind, I can’t expect them to be. If I’m not self-disciplined, I can’t expect them to be. If I’m not generous, I can’t expect them to be. God shows me so much more grace than I show my children. It’s so convicting to think about, and if I don’t reflect on it with God’s grace, it is shameful. Our aim should be to show our children the same amount of grace that our Heavenly Father shows us. Think of the gasps of horror an unedited video of our worst moments would bring to our children, and yet God has completely forgiven us all of it. — Dad of 5 from Florida
- Everything will try to make you think that you have to keep up or to push your family to be what you saw growing up. Fight that. You are making your own family. You don’t have to live up to anything other than what God has called you to do. — Dad of 5 in North Carolina
Treasure the Gift
- A few practical ways to soak it in:
- Take more videos than pictures and record their voices when they’re young. (Make sure you mark your favorites in your media folder.)
- Figure out a way to take them out on dates early to get one-on-one time. It’s so much easier to be patient with them when you have time alone. Doesn’t have to be fancy (my son thinks Waffle House is a high-class establishment).
- Try to make special routines with your kids, even if they’re quick and trivial, just the routine will be more special the older they get.
- Create an email address for them when they are young and send email messages to it (memories, stories, inspiration). When they are older, give them the email login and password to see your messages. — Dad of 5 in North Carolina
- Find your child’s passion and spend time doing it with them. Trust God and HIS process! — Dad of 3 from MN
A final word worth holding onto:
Psalm 127:3 says children are a blessing from the Lord! Don’t pay any mind to people who try to scare you about how hard this season will be (i.e., “You’ll never sleep again!“). This is a season of your life that you will TREASURE in years to come. Having a new child is definitely not easy, but it is so, so, so good. Don’t long for your child to be older; that will happen faster than you can possibly imagine. Enjoy and be thankful for the blessing you get to enjoy today, exactly how your little boy or girl is at this moment. They will never be exactly like they are right at this very moment. Soak it up. — Dad of 3 in Texas
A Framework to Build On
You may notice that across all this advice from dads, similar themes keep showing up: slow down, connect, serve, stay humble, enjoy the gift.
These dads are living out the four messages that every child needs to hear in their families:
You don’t have to have it all figured out and you won’t be a perfect dad. That’s actually not what your child needs. They just need a dad who shows up with safety and connection to guide them as they grow.
We’re cheering you on, dads!
© 2021, 2026 Connected Families
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