Managing Kids’ Anger – and Ours

We parents sometimes get it backwards.

Our kid acts up and we get angry. We then tend to justify our anger saying, “I wouldn’t be angry if you didn’t act up.” This means that we’ve let our child be in charge of our emotions. Then we angrily confront our child and the child gets angry in return. The child’s expression of anger is less controlled than ours.

Finally, we punish the child for his misbehavior, and we get away with ours. What’s worse is we don’t even notice ours.

Maybe we have it backwards.

Maybe the reason kids get so angry when we discipline them is that they are simply following our example. Instead of giving them a time-out, maybe we need one first.

Some parents have figured out that it’s their job to stay calm and graceful when their kids act up. They learn to stay humble and gentle in their use of authority. That’s how we best help our kids learn good lessons – including how to stay calm when they’re upset.

Which way will you choose?

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