Resilience and Respect: Learning to “win at losing”

You’re in the game aisle at the store, visualizing the wonderful memories you’ll create with your family during Game Night. You bring the game home and reality hits:

“I hate this game!”
“You cheated!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I’m not playing anymore!” Swish, and the game goes flying.

Sound familiar?

Hard to believe, but board games have great learning potential for kids. Depending on the game, kids can develop valuable skills: sequencing, planning, problem-solving, direction following, waiting/turn-taking/delay of gratification, teamwork, and resilience when things don’t go their way.

Building Wisdom When Kids Want Gifts…and More Gifts

Parents love giving their kids good gifts. And kids love receiving them! As you’ll learn in our upcoming Entitlement Online Course, the gift-giving experience can be an exciting dopamine burst (our body’s reward/pleasure chemical) for everyone! It can be fun at first, but over time the joy can quickly give way to a sense of entitlement.

Add to the mix a highly sophisticated advertising industry aimed at shaping the values of kids in order to influence their buying habits. One study reported that children under 14 influenced as much as 47% of American household spending. It is estimated that advertisers spend more than $12 billion per year to reach the youth market and that children view more than 40,000 commercials each year. These figures represent dramatic increases over those from the 1970sThey communicate a subtle and troubling message: “You need this toy (or food) to be happy.” These advertisers gauge not only how to shape your kids’ buying habits, but their identity: “You’re the coolest when you have our product!”  

Trash, Truth, Treasure

Helping kids turn anger into wisdom

When our child gets teased, battered and bullied by another child’s hurtful words, we parents are inclined to step in and fix it by saying things like, “Oh honey, that’s not true.” Or, “You don’t deserve that.” Or maybe we’ll criticize the aggressor (especially if that aggressor is an older sibling). Quick fix responses like this may settle things down in the short-term, but keep parents in the role of managing all the difficult emotions instead of empowering their kids. This article will teach you how to equip your kids to filter through what others say to them and respond wisely instead of cover their hurt feelings with anger.  

We’ve coached many parents how to equip their kids with wisdom to assess the value of what others say to them. You too can help your children learn to place the things others say to them in one of three categories: Trash, Truth and Treasure.

Struggling with a disobedient child? We can help.

You’ve been hearing us talk about the Discipline That Connects Online Course for a few weeks. But do you still have questions? We’ve got answers!

What is the structure of the course?
There are six sessions that are pre-recorded and available to you on your schedule! You can start taking the course as soon as you register. This means that you can take it day or night and go through the course as fast as you want. The six sessions are streaming videos with reflection questions interspersed. We highly encourage course participants to leave comments throughout the course, but don’t require comments to move to the next session.

How long does each session take?
Each session takes between 45 and 75 minutes to complete. There are approximately 45 minutes of video for each session. The balance of the time is used for reflection and to answer questions. You can break it up to fit your schedule because it is always there for you!

Read our full list of FAQs here.

Read below from parents who have been challenged and encouraged in their parenting journey.

Why “Stop it!” Doesn’t Work

How to gain perspective and a plan

I’d HAD it! I was sick of this aggravating behavior, day after day. I stopped in my tracks, glared at the little one who was driving me crazy, and yelled at the top of my lungs, STOP IT!!

Do you relate to this? Has this happened in your home? It happened in ours.

But this wasn’t an incident from my early parenting of three crazy kids, it was this spring, and the little offender was a red winged black bird.

Seriously. I screamed at… a BIRD.

3 Game-Changing Questions to Show Your Kids They’re Worth It

It can be hard work to grow as a parent.
Especially when no matter how hard you try, things can still go haywire. Old patterns die hard, and it’s normal to fall into the default of huffing and puffing to get your own sense of control. But don’t lose heart! Here’s a simple strategy to keep learning and growing, and to help your child do the same – even when things blow up.

Positive growth can start by settling down, and remembering God’s grace for you. When the tension is high, take a break to let you and your child calm down. In that space, take some deep breaths, and remember that we’re all under grace. Then, go to your child with these three questions:

How to become a more peaceful, confident parent

Parenting is tough these days. And parents seem to be trying harder than ever to get it right.

You read books as time allows. You stay up, sometimes for hours, researching articles on the internet. You give it everything you’ve got. You see glimpses of progress, but you continue seeing the same issues, the same misbehavior, the same fights repeat themselves over and over again — maybe even growing slowly more troublesome. And you know your family is capable of so much more.

You just can’t seem to get there.

Did you ever imagine discipline would be so hard? We can help

hen it comes to raising your kids, we know how frustrating it can be to put your whole heart into it over the years and continue seeing the same issues, the same misbehavior, the same fights, repeat themselves over and over again.

You read as many parenting books as you can get your hands on. You stay up sometimes for hours researching articles on the internet. You give it everything you’ve got.

You see glimpses of progress with your kids. But you know your family is capable of so much more.

You just can’t seem to get there. We get it – we’ve been there ourselves and with thousands of parents over the past two decades.

6 Survival Tips for Parents of Teens

In our work coaching hundreds of parents of tweens and teens over the years, we’ve uncovered six common themes that leave teens feeling a little more encouraged and willing to respect their parents. (And, if you’re a parent of a tween or teen, we’ll be featured Saturday, Sep 23 on the FREE online Parenting Teens Summit!)

1. When your teen challenges you, don’t fight them. LISTEN!

This is NOT about giving in or being a doormat. It is more about incorporating listening and affirming as part of your process in guiding them. To do this requires stopping, taking a breath, maybe even uttering a short prayer when challenged: “Lord, help me reflect your grace and truth here.” You’ll gain far more respect and authority in your child’s eyes by this approach than by forcing your agenda on them. Kids that really feel listened to gradually learn to listen to others.

Helping Kids with their Anger

A creative activity to reduce outbursts and prepare kids for healthy relationships

When kids (and adults) experience tangled and confusing emotions that are difficult to express, what often comes out is anger.
 It feels vulnerable to be anxious, ashamed, sad, embarrassed, disappointed, discouraged, overwhelmed, confused, hurt or rejected. A typical response is to self-protect by avoiding or hiding those emotions under a layer of anger. We may not even be aware of those emotions. Unfortunately, when what we show is our anger, that’s usually what we get back from others, and it escalates the conflict instead of solving it.

Helping kids understand this emotional dynamic can be a challenge. We’ve designed a fun activity for you, adaptable for different ages or learning styles to equip your kids with the insight they’ll need for less meltdowns now, and healthy relationships in the future.