learning hub

Category Discipline

inner coach video slide

One of my favorite parenting videos

At Connected Families we teach that focusing on getting right behavior as your primary goal is a setup for power struggles and frustrations of all kinds. We teach instead to focus primarily on the messages your kids get from you…

Best Vacation Ever

The Best Vacation Ever

Tom was worried about taking his family on a short mission trip to a South Dakota Indian reservation. He told me, “We’re really interested in this trip. We think it would be good for us and for our kids. But…

Skiing Tears and Grace

Skiing, Tears, and Grace

At a recent ski meet I found myself twice in tears for people I’ve never met. The first time was when a young competitor “skied out,” meaning he missed a gate and was disqualified from the race. Nearby his parents gasped…

Defiance Better Than Obedience 1

When is defiance better than obedience?

  I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…

Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts

Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts

Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…