Dads, Would You Take a Bullet for Your Kids? The Daily Sacrifice of Being a Present Father
Many dads sacrifice a lot for their families. They work tirelessly, keep up with the house, coach the team, serve at church or in the community, show up at recitals, and more.
Thanks, dads, for all you do.
It is a hard job to parent well, and part of that job includes being willing to give up things in order to achieve long-term benefits for your family. ย Have you thought about what you want to communicate to your children by what you are willing to do for them?
Most dads I know would give their own life to save the life of their child. This sentiment was recently reiterated by a dad I met during a coaching session. He confidently told me, โIโd take a bullet for my child.โ I believed him. We dads are wired to protect and provide. When something big happens, we show up.
But sacrifice doesn’t always mean what we think. My response to the dad I was coaching: โTaking a bullet for your child? Thatโs the easy part.โ
For most of us, the kind of sacrifice our kids will really need is not a sacrifical death, but the daily sacrifice of being a present father. And it has never been more important for the health and well-being of families.
I want us to consider:ย What are we modeling for our kids when we faithfully watch sporting event after sporting event, get up early and stay late at work, or painstakingly care for the yard, but canโt squeeze in five minutes of meaningful play time or conversation with our kids?
What does that say to them? By routinely setting up our next outing at the golf course or tediously mapping our outdoor activities on the lake or in the woods, what does that say to our kids about sacrifice?
Could it be that weโre sacrificing our relationships with our wives and kids to pursue our own pleasures?
The Real Cost of Being a Present Father
Not that we canโt work hard or have a little fun along the way, but what would our kids learn from us if we:
- Said โnoโ more often to the things that consistently pull us away from our families and said โyesโ more often to engaging in the relationships we would say are most important?
- Closed our laptop or pocketed our smart phone when they (or their mother) walked into the room?
- Age-appropriately shared our real life struggles and successes, our doubts and fears, our hopes and aspirations with them?
- Clearly linked our own faith with our everyday life through stories so they can see that our faith really does matter outside of church?
- Bought them less stuff and gave them more of ourselves?
This is more what taking a modern day “bullet” is about.
Dads, you have it in you to protect and sacrifice for your kids. You have it in you to be deeply present for your family. The question isn’t whether you’d die for them, it’s whether you’ll live for them, one ordinary moment at a time.
Be present. Set aside your own plans when it matters. Show up for your spouse and your kids in the small moments that, over time, become the foundation of a connected family.
It’s what God built you to do.
Apply It Now:
- In what ways can you share how your life intersects with your faith on a daily basis?
- What sacrifices are you already making that contribute to the health of your kids and family? How could you share with your family your heart behind those sacrifices?
- What other practical sacrifices could you make for the health of your kids and family?
Chad Hayenga is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Life Coach who has been coaching parents through the Connected Families Framework since 2012. Drawing from both professional expertise and his experience as the father of three adult children, he helps families of tweens and teens build stronger, more connected relationships.
ยฉ 2014, 2026 Connected Families
Want to keep growing as a dad?
We built a whole space just for you.
Our How Do You “Be a Better Dad”? is a free resource hub in our free learning library โ packed with practical tools, honest encouragement, and faith-rooted wisdom for the everyday work of fathering. No fluff. No shame. Just the good stuff.
