A few years ago Connected Families had a dream to extend our reach with God’s grace and truth for parenting by creating a podcast. In June 2019 that dream became a reality and we dropped our first podcast series called, “What Should I Do When…(insert parenting struggle here)”.
Listen to Episode 100: “Ending the Shame Cycle”
This podcast explores how we can better replace our own parenting shame and toxic lies with God’s hope-filled grace and truth and then pass that on to our loved ones. We trust you will find this podcast encouraging! Even if you are not a normal podcast listener, take 38 minutes to listen to this one. You’ll be glad you did.
To celebrate our 100th podcast episode, it only made sense to tap into the wisdom within the growing Connected Families community. We asked the question of our Insiders Team, “What Truth Phrases keep you going in the messes of daily life?” The answers they gave did not disappoint!
Without further ado, here are 100 Truth Phrases to keep you going! As you’ll see, the majority are inspired by Connected Families’ content and co-founders Jim and Lynne Jackson. Where they are not, we have done our best to give credit to the original source.
The Connected Families Framework for parenting is something you can keep in your mind, right in the middle of a stressful parenting moment (with practice, anyhow). It’s behind all the parenting content on our website, in our books, and in our online courses.
We have organized these Truth Phrases by each level of the framework, so no matter where you are in a parenting moment, you can find one that will speak to you.
A question we continue to encourage parents to ask is, “What’s going on in me?” This question grows a strong foundation of insight as I relate to my child, so I can communicate the message, “You are SAFE with me.” Sometimes we unintentinally send messages to our kids that are misunderstood. Learning to receive God’s grace for ourselves, and then dispensing that grace to our kids, is at the heart of becoming an emotionally safe parent.
“You are SAFE with me.”
My greatest effort needs to be on my own heart and relationship with Christ.
All things can be redeemed.
The time between “the incident” and “the consequence” is a sacred moment. Tune into the Holy Spirit’s quiet voice.
Jesus is more than enough. Without Him I can do nothing. (John 15:5)
We have a lot of BIG feelings in our family, and we CAN work through them together.
I may have little patience but the Holy Spirit has plenty for us.
When I am failing, I’m not a failure. God is holding out new opportunities, teaching me new pathways and building me up.
God’s got this!
What’s going on in me?
I can be okay even when my kids are not.
God is God, and I am not. Trust Him!
Today is a hard day/moment but God isn’t done writing our stories. I can have hope for tomorrow.
When a toxic lie rears its head, “the voice of truth tells me a different story.” (Casting Crowns song)
This is an opportunity for healing.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:5)
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. (Psalm 73:23)
God has been very gracious to me. I have more than enough. (Genesis 33:11)
My kind words are sweet to the soul and healing to others. (Proverbs 16:24)
People before plans.
I’m trusting in the Lord with ALL my heart!
God knew about this flaw of mine a long time ago, and He still loves me.
God loves my kids more than I do and I don’t have to be a perfect parent because He is.
God’s grace is sufficient for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
No one is dying. We can slow down and handle this thoughtfully.
This is hard but this is the life I prayed for and want.
I can accept the grace that has already been given to me.
How do I do it? By rolling with the punches, Baby! (Disney’s Incredibles 2)
God is good ALL the time.
God has given me this child. He will give me what I need to parent him/her.
Check your shame at the door, it ain’t welcome anymore. (Cory Asbury song)
I can be ok and God loves and values me, even if the house is a disaster and the kids aren’t responding to my training.
Do your kids know they are loved unconditionally? Do you know you are loved unconditionally? It’s easy to believe the toxic lies that our worth is dependent on our performance, or our child’s performance. But what if our worth could be found in God alone and His unconditional love for us? These Truth Phrases will ground you in God’s unconditional love for you so you can pass that on to your children. Read on.
“You are LOVED no matter what.”
My children are not my report card.
Do not embitter (child’s name) or he/she will become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)
I can receive God’s grace for myself and extend His grace to my kids.
It’s a great day to be alive! (Travis Tritt song)
I love my kids and am relying on Jesus when I’m angry and overwhelmed.
My child is having a hard time, he’s not giving me a hard time.
Kids are busy working hard in their play and they deserve the respect of communication just as much as an adult.
This is hard for me, but even harder for my child.
My faithful presence still matters to my child.
I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God. (Bethel Music)
Just read a book together. It will get better. (Read Aloud Revival)
Everything can be different in 20 minutes. (Rachel Jankovic, author)
They’re my favorite people and I love them!
This is tough, but we’re going to get through it together.
God is powerfully FOR my family.
“You didn’t want that to happen!” (Dr. Becky at Good Inside)
God, thank you for loving me (or us) right now.
When you connect to the heart of a child, everything is possible. (Dr. Karyn Purvis)
It’s OK to feel disappointed/sad/frustrated/mad… I don’t have to make my child happy. I can hold space for his difficult emotions rather than try and “fix it.”
Feelings before facts.
Bad moments do not equal a bad parent. God’s love equips me where I lack and strengthens me where I’m weak.
God has so much mercy for us in this struggle.
I need to bring God’s mercy right into the middle of this.
These tantrums are my child learning to process her big emotions, she just needs a little grace in the learning.
It takes skill to misbehave! When kids want something, they tap into their strengths to get what they want, not their weaknesses. How can we better grow wisdom in our children and not just compliance? When our children are misbehaving, how can we instill in them a desire to use their gifts to serve and bless others?
“You are CALLED and CAPABLE.”
You can have control or you can have growth. You can’t have both. (Craig Groeschel)
It’s my job to learn to parent wisely. It’s my child’s job (over time) to learn to respond wisely. (Grace & Truth online course)
For [child’s name] is God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for him/her to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
As parents, our job is to continue to feed our little one’s logic.
Children are more capable than we often imagine.
Hope springs from truth rehearsed. (Mark Vroegop, author)
We must seek to motivate our children rather than manipulate them.
Jesus gives me the courage to face adversity and I will grow from this.
God chose ME to be the mother (parent) for these children; He doesn’t make mistakes.
I’m not concerned. You’ll figure it out.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:4-6)
Everyone is still learning!
God thought I would be the perfect person to raise this tiny human. He has called me, and He will equip me.
The Holy Spirit teaches me truth and empowers me to live a full life. (1 John 2:27)
My child is in the middle of her story.
Do your best, God will take care of the rest.
A pushy, loud child is getting desperate to be heard but still knows their voice is valuable.
We have come so far!
My focus is fertilizer. Look for the good.
Skill or will? (Is this a skill issue or a will issue?) (Hope for the Journey Conference)
I love this child and we are going to figure this out.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
My child’s rational thinking goes offline when they lose. I can help them with that over time.
BUT…sometimes our children need correction, right? How can we teach our kids to be responsible for their actions? We all want children who are able to reconcile well and make right what they’ve made wrong. This is a skill they will carry with them into adulthood that will impact generations to come. As your child is in the midst of a misbehavior, remember these Truth Phrases.
“You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.”
Clear is kind. (Brene Brown)
My child can grow and learn from this hard experience.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
How can I teach wisdom over obedience in this situation?
If I can’t fly, I will run. If I can’t run, I will walk. If I can’t walk, I will crawl. No matter what, I will keep moving forward. (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
Blowing it with my child is an opportunity to model receiving God’s grace and reconciling. Adapted from (Phillipians 4:9)
I can do all things through Christ. (Philippians 4:13)
This behavior does not define my child.
What’s the opportunity here?
His crisis is not my emergency.
This is not my problem but I can be a resource. (Alfred Adler, MD)
Connect before you correct.
My kids’ conflict is a valuable opportunity to equip them for grace-filled relationships in life.
I will pray about this more than I will worry about it. (And then I pray.)
We are each valuable and loved. And we are all sinners and sometimes we hurt each other. But conflict is an opportunity for us to learn to problem solve and love each other.
She’s struggling and hurting. Hurting people, hurt people. She needs me to be an example of grace, mercy, and love and not take it personally.
Jesus lives in me and will guide me because HE wants my kids to have a great relationship, even more than I do.
In conflict, I’m only responsible for my sin.
God is able, over time, to do significant healing that brings him glory and he will use for his purposes.
I try to spend time with wise people. This helps me become even wiser. (Adapted from Proverbs 13:20)
I don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants me to do. (Adapted from Ephesians 5:17)
We pray you found these 100 Truth Phrases encouraging! As you read through them, consider downloading and printing this FREE PDF to share with a friend as a way to introduce them to Connected Families. We are honored to partner with you in your parenting journey.
Are you ready to parent more peacefully? Do you find yourself feeling angry a lot? Resilience in tough times, anchored in God’s truth, could be the best legacy you leave behind. Check out our Grace & Truth for Moms online course. Grab a friend (or 2 or 10!) and join us for this five-session online course that will deeply encourage you in your parenting.