Many of our most popular articles are real and sometimes raw examples of the Connected Families Framework in action. The following story is from Jessica, a mom in the trenches of everyday life, who is fighting to bring grace and truth to her parenting. It tells how she reinforced the message, “You are CAPABLE,” with her intense, strong-willed son by finding his gift-gone-awry.
One day on the way to church my son put his muddy shoes on the seat of the car. I’m always asking him not to do that. My initial reaction is to yell, to get big and loud. But then I remembered the course, took a deep breath, and thought, “I don’t want to send a message that you are annoying.” I feel like I give that message a lot when I’m frustrated.I pulled the car over and turned and looked at him, “God has blessed you with determination and when you are older it will help you. Right now this gift is not helping you. You’re hurting the car.” I was surprised that he listened. It took a couple minutes, but he put his feet down and didn’t put them back up.Typically it would have been awful and set the stage for a terrible evening but I was able to drop him off with a kiss and it was wonderful!
This was a turning point for me because there had been times that I stopped the car and pulled him out by his shirt, yelling at him, and I did not want to be that parent!
I love my son but it became apparent to me that he wasn’t feeling loved and he was just acting out to get attention. The first few times I did this “God’s gift thing” my son didn’t get it. Now he does! The Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course helped me learn to slow down and be patient, and to look at those deeply engrained behaviors from my past. To let them go and to forgive. The course helped me to realize I don’t have to repeat that pattern.
If you are feeling stuck in your parenting, and know there has to be a better way to create long-term connection with your kids, we’d love to come alongside you!
Want to explore these hear the full story from Jessica? Check out this podcast.
Take 15 minutes to learn how to give consequences that teach, rather than simply punish, by downloading our free ebook Consequences That Actually Work.