Chad Hayenga
When My Child Asked for an iPod, Here’s What I Said…
In this article I wrote about how my junior high daughter creatively and proactively asked for an iPod by preparing a well-thought-out list of answers to concerns she thought I might have. Here’s the rest of the story! My daughter’s proactive…
My Daughter Asked for an iPod Again… But This Time Was Different.
My daughter approached me with a typical question — one I’ve heard one hundred seventy-three times (but who’s counting). “Dad, can I have an iPod Touch?” But this time, her approach was different. She made a good pitch — she had…
Should My Kid Get a Participation Trophy Just for Showing Up?
One former NFL player, James Harrison, sent out an Instagram message regarding his two sons receiving “participation trophies” even though they didn’t win anything. Harrison, the youngest of 14 kids and a two-time Super Bowl winner himself, struck a chord with…
“It was hard to be mad when you were so kind to me.”
In my role as a parenting speaker I do a lot of role plays with people in the audience. Though I had seen a lot of yelling, whining, and laughter from these role plays, I had never seen tears —…
“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…
3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!
“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go to your room and think about what…
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…
What to do when your kids give you a defiant “NO”
When kids say “No!” parents tend to react rather than respond. Reacting tends to lead to unconstructive power struggles that follow this basic pattern: Child: “No!” Parent: “Yes!” Child: “No!” Parent: “Yes or else!” Child: “I don’t care!” Parent: “Well…
“Sometimes My Kids Deserve To Be Yelled At!”
Recently in a parent coaching session a parent shared a feeling that I’ve felt a few times myself: “Sometimes my kids deserve to be yelled at when I’ve asked them to do something multiple times and they ‘forget’ or don’t…
Dads: Would You Take a Bullet for Your Kids?
Many dads sacrifice much for their families. They work tirelessly, keep up with the house (grass, snow removal, repairs, etc), coach, serve at church or in the community among other things. Thanks, dads, for all you do. It is a…