Your relationship with your child might feel “off,” but you’re not sure why. Could it be that the way you were parented impacts the way you parent? Your attachment style affects all your most important relationships – from spouse to children to close friends.
So, what is “attachment style” anyway? And does attachment style really matter?
Attachment tends to be a buzzword in parenting circles. Not to be confused with Attachment Parenting, Attachment Theory comes from scientific research about different ways that children securely bond (or lack bonding) with their parents in the child’s early years.
In a perfect world, a child experiences secure attachment when the parent-child relationship is built around emotional safety and stability from the parent.
But we don’t live in a perfect world.
Sometimes we (and our children) do not experience this kind of secure attachment. When we explore our family of origin, we learn how our own style of attachment affects how we respond in relationships, and it definitely affects how we parent our children!
On today’s episode, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Jim Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) as they welcome guests Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Together, they dive into the significance of, and styles of, attachment and how we model them in our parenting. They are the authors of How We Love, and they discuss how we bring the attachment style from our parents to our own relationships, especially with our kids.
Learning about your attachment style is a key component of the first level of the Connected Families Framework and can help you understand, “What’s going on in me?”. Parents who have not experienced a secure connection — don’t lose hope! The good news is that attachment wounds from your past can be identified, and you can grow along with your kids. You can cultivate a secure, deep connection with your kids and transform your family for generations to come.
In this podcast, you’ll discover:
- the six attachment styles and how you can identify your own attachment style
- how your attachment style passes on to your kids, and affects emotional regulation, sense of safety, and predictability in your home
- the specific challenges of cultivating a secure attachment with kids who have experienced trauma, particularly kids who join your family through foster care or adoption
- the importance of understanding your own attachment history without shame, and adopting a growth mindset to change the trajectory of your family’s legacy
We are so glad you’re here! Has this podcast been helpful? Could you please take a moment to rate and review this podcast, so others can find us more easily? Here’s what others are saying about our podcast!
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
- How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
- How We Love Our Kids by Milan and Kay Yerkovich (includes “Seven gifts you can give your kids.”)
- What is Your Love Style? Online quiz
- Free resources from Milan and Kay Yerkovich: Comfort Circle: Guide for the Listener, Understanding Your Quiz Results
- Grace and Truth for Moms online course
- Connected Families Framework
- ACEs scoring system
- Bible verses: Psalm 139, James 1:19, 2 Cor 1:3-7, Psalm 23
KAY YERKOVICH, M.S., M.F.T.
Kay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and has been counseling people for over 30 years. She is a popular speaker and lecturer in the areas of parenting and marriage relationships. In her free time, Kay enjoys creative hobbies, ceramics, painting, and sewing. Taking a swim in the ocean is her favorite way to renew her energy.
REV. MILAN YERKOVICH, M.A.
Milan specializes in couples’ marriage counseling and is the founder and president of Relationship 180, a non-profit Christian counseling center specializing in the application of attachment research (www.relationship180.com). He has a master’s degree in Biblical Studies and has worked with marriages and families for over 40 years and is a Bible teacher and lecturer in the areas of relational theology, marriage, family, and parenting. He is a Co-Host of New Life Live! a nationally syndicated counseling show heard on over 180 radio stations, which can be seen on the NRB television network (www.newlife.com). He loves to row crew, swims and is a martial arts instructor.
They are the creators of Attachment Core Pattern Therapy (ACPT™), co-authored How We Love, How We Love Workbook, and How We Love Our Kids, and travel and speak extensively on relationships (www.howwelove.com). They were married in 1972 and have four grown children, two daughters-in-law, two sons-in-law, and ten grandchildren.