The great thing about yelling is that it helps a parent unload a lot of frustration and for the moment feel a sense of control. The bad part is – that moment is short-lived. Whatever damage was done in the brief outburst (or in some cases the extended outburst) tends, in the hours and days to follow, to increase the problem the yelling addressed and add resentment to the relationship in which the yelling occurred.
This desire for control speaks to a deep longing in all of us for life to make sense, for harmony to rule, for hurt and confusion to be settled and healed. Yes, our sin is mixed into this longing, but at the core, as beings miraculously created in God’s image, we long for heaven! Remembering this can help you embrace your “today reality” and ask God to give you what you need to respond to your kids with grace.
So if you find yourself yelling for quick relief:
- Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself: “I’m a work in progress. My sin does not define me.”
- Ask forgiveness of God and your kids for the wrong you’ve done.
- Admit that your deepest longing is not really for temporary control, but for eternal peace.
- And, next time you feel like yelling, yell this: “I long for heaven on earth!!!!!”
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