My Tween Wants to Quit Music Lessons

"What Should I Do When...?" Podcast Series

“I don’t WANT to practice my trumpet.” “My piano teacher is mean!” “I don’t have time to practice with all this homework. I want to quit!”  Sound familiar?

In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT and parent coach to explore how our parenting framework gives insight into the question: ”What should I do when my tween wants to quit music lessons?”

Quick answer: In most cases, help your child understand that it’s important to stick to their commitments (for the duration of that commitment), and provide the support your child needs. 

Listen to our full podcast to explore: 

  • SAFE: Is the word “quit” a trigger for you, the parent, for some reason? 
  • LOVED/CONNECT: Can you understand and empathize with what it’s like to be your child? Maybe there’s a very logical reason why music lessons are not working. 
  • CAPABLE: How might you encourage capability in a way your child would receive: “I know this is hard, but you can do this hard thing!”? 
  • RESPONSIBLE: How do I help my child develop a sense of ownership for this? 

In conclusion: Be in prayer and ask God for wisdom about this difficult decision.  Encourage your kids even as you keep them responsible for their commitments. But if music lessons (or any other commitment!) isn’t benefiting your child don’t let it cost you the relationship. Find other ways for your child to learn responsibility. 

To learn more about our parenting framework, download our FREE ebook Four Messages Every Child Longs To Hear

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