Your Child Is Not Your Report Card

As the school year begins, here are a few brief reminders about responsibility and report cards.

1. Your child is not your report card. Many parents feel that their child’s poor behaviors mean that they are bad parents. Whether a child rudely rejects Grandma’s casserole, has a meltdown over a toy at Wal-Mart, or brings home a poor report card, parents get angry at their children for reflecting poorly on them. Unfortunately, this response also teaches kids that their behavior really is their parents’ responsibility. This is not true! You are responsible to guide and teach your children to make wise choices, but they are responsible for their actions.

2. Your child is not their teacher’s report card. You and the teacher can work with your child to learn the importance of wise choices, but the responsibility lies with your child to put them into practice! (If you and the teachers work like crazy to get your kids to work, your kids will still believe it’s your report card too.)

3. Your child’s report card is not the measure of their worth and value. Poor grades do not mean that your child is a “bad kid” or even unintelligent, just that she is struggling. If your child does receive a rough report card, take that opportunity to affirm that you love your child no matter what! You can always make a plan to improve things afterwards. The times when your kids struggle are the times when expressing your unconditional love means the most.

Want to learn more about these concepts? Download our one hour recording of a Discipline That Connects workshop.