When kids melt down, we often counsel parents to respond with empathy. When you truly understand your struggling child, it strongly communicates the essential message, “You are loved no matter what!” Often, communicating empathy in the midst of misbehavior takes…
We have been trained to think in black-and-white terms about a lot of things. Kids’ misbehavior is one of them. When kids misbehave we say to ourselves and to our kids, “That was bad! It needs to stop!” The opposite…
How do I get my 7-year-old son to stop talking back to everything we say? He is always right and we are always wrong! … We try discipline, taking away some of his toys, etc. but nothing seems to work.…
“I call the window seat!” “Nu-uhhh, it’s MY turn!” “No way!” “OW! Mom, she hit me!” Sometimes it can seem like the simplest interactions are the ones that explode out of nowhere. Getting out the door to school, getting in…
Recently we received this question from Michelle: I am struggling with a tween who often says no to my requests. She is a good girl most of the time, but she will be disrespectful to me and I have no…
In our online course a parent once asked the following question: I see the difference you’re talking about between typical parenting and parenting with the four messages in mind… and I like the difference I see… here comes the BUT… what…
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…
“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go to your room and think about what…
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…