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Redirect Power Struggles with One Question
Ten minutes before dinner your child wheels around the corner and asks, "Can I go to a friend's for dinner?" Many parent mentors would suggest that this is one of those times to stand firm. And we agree. The question is - about what should we be firm?
A Creative Alternative to Those Endless Reminders…
Big sister Bella bounces and crashes her way through life with Tigger-like abandon, unaware of the impact of her big movements and energy on those around her. When it came to pushing her new little brother in his baby…
The Benefits of Letting Our Kids Experience Conflict
Sometimes it can be a good thing to let kids fight. This played itself out last week as I was caring for my niece and nephews (4th – 7th grade). During dinner they began to argue the sort of argument…
Why Do Kids Tantrum?
Simply stated, kids have tantrums because they pay off. In some convoluted sort of way they get what they want. Even if it means they lose their cool and wear themselves out. The challenge for a parent is determining what exactly a…
How Your Support Helped a Child Learn to Take Her Own Time-Outs
“I wasn’t safe! I need to go to my room to think about this,” exclaimed five-year-old Selah after hitting her infant brother Caleb. It seemed almost miraculous that she would say such a thing.
Do Your Questions Help or Hurt Your Kids?
Ed was trying to be patient and thoughtful, but he was at the end of his rope. Instead of helping him fix dinner, his two daughters were upstairs arguing loudly and disrespectfully. As he listened he thought to himself, “That’s…
How Parents Can Predict a Meltdown…
Fists clench. Ears turn red. Lips quiver. The tiny chest heaves to draw in a breath and then — “NOOOOOOOO!!” When your child starts working up to a tantrum, those tell-tale warning signs can make an explosion seem expected or…
Why Kids Explode and What to Do About It
Just like us, our kids sometimes react angrily when something important to them feels attacked. First expressions of anger are almost always aggressive. As kids get old enough to express themselves, the aggression becomes words and actions. One day I…
How Flushing without Pooping Can Help Your Parenting
I was mad. Several times in recent weeks our kids had become careless about their toilet flushing habits. So when I went in to use the bathroom and saw the most recent “solid evidence,” I was irritated to say the…
A Parenting Fairy Tale…
Once upon a time, near a woods far away, there was a family named the Scrumpkins. Bingle (the dad) and Kalinda (the mom) were fearful of what might happen to their children if they explored the dark, foreboding woods behind…