Category Discipline
Help Kids Handle “NO” by Getting Great at “YES!”
If you want your kids to respect and value your “no’s!” work harder on your “yeses!” It’s good to teach kids the various “No’s!” in life. The best foundation for doing this is to help them habitually experience the resounding…
3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!
“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go to your room and think about what…
One of my favorite parenting videos
At Connected Families we teach that focusing on getting right behavior as your primary goal is a setup for power struggles and frustrations of all kinds. We teach instead to focus primarily on the messages your kids get from you…
The Best Vacation Ever
Tom was worried about taking his family on a short mission trip to a South Dakota Indian reservation. He told me, “We’re really interested in this trip. We think it would be good for us and for our kids. But…
Skiing, Tears, and Grace
At a recent ski meet I found myself twice in tears for people I’ve never met. The first time was when a young competitor “skied out,” meaning he missed a gate and was disqualified from the race. Nearby his parents gasped…
When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
Build Kids Up with Nourishing Affirmation in 30 Seconds
Kids need encouragement. But not all affirmation is created equal! Some affirmation is empty — like popcorn or cotton candy — but nourishing affirmation builds kids up by helping them see how their actions benefit others or build their character.…
Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…
How do I keep from favoring one child over the others?
We received the following question from a parent: Q: What can I do to not show favoritism even when in some sense, certain kids really are my favorites? The favoring of one child over others is common. Sociologists tell us…
Affirmation: The Struggle to Stay Positive [video]
“Stay positive.” It’s almost a cliche at this point. But the parenting truth behind this oft-spoken statement is that kids need constructive affirmation and encouragement from their parents. This might sound simple — but sometimes, affirming our kids can be…