Give the Gift of Connection
Chad Hayenga
I’m a Therapist, But I Choose to Coach. Here’s Why.
Coaching parents has been the greatest joy in my professional life! I’ve seen countless kids’ lives change for good while witnessing greater parent confidence and satisfaction. Those results are why I stopped providing therapeutic services to teens and began coaching…
Feel Like Swearing at Your Kids? This Is for You.
As a parent coach, primarily working with parents of teens, I’ve found commonality in the issues parents want to address—especially wanting their kids to obey. NOW! For the past 20 years, I’ve been doing some form of helping parents and…
Are We Setting Our Kids Up to Be Uncooperative?
Parents can get in ruts. That’s true for me and I’m pretty sure it is for you, too. One rut that is familiar to many is the hurried race out the door because “we’re going to be late!!” Or how…
When My Child Asked for an iPod, Here’s What I Said…
In this article I wrote about how my junior high daughter creatively and proactively asked for an iPod by preparing a well-thought-out list of answers to concerns she thought I might have. Here’s the rest of the story! My daughter’s proactive…
My Daughter Asked for an iPod Again… But This Time Was Different.
My daughter approached me with a typical question — one I’ve heard one hundred seventy-three times (but who’s counting). “Dad, can I have an iPod Touch?” But this time, her approach was different. She made a good pitch — she had…
Should My Kid Get a Participation Trophy Just for Showing Up?
One former NFL player, James Harrison, sent out an Instagram message regarding his two sons receiving “participation trophies” even though they didn’t win anything. Harrison, the youngest of 14 kids and a two-time Super Bowl winner himself, struck a chord with…
“It was hard to be mad when you were so kind to me.”
In my role as a parenting speaker I do a lot of role plays with people in the audience. Though I had seen a lot of yelling, whining, and laughter from these role plays, I had never seen tears —…
“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…
3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!
“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go to your room and think about what…
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…