Give the Gift of Connection
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The Big Do-Over
Here is another story from Joel and Amy Nelson, parents of two sons, who have previously shared their story here. Enjoy! Parenting may not come with a manual, but I sure have read a lot of the parenting books out…
Is Your Response to Misbehavior Helpful or Hurtful?
When you see your child doing something hurtful, it’s second nature to want to jump in and correct the behavior immediately! But sometimes this can actually stop our kids from learning. Kyle and Ella were tired of the conflicts from…
7 Peaceful, Powerful Ways to Connect with an Angry Child
Everyone would agree that loving our children is one of the most important things a parent can do. But sometimes expressing that love isn’t as easy as it sounds. Sarafina wrote about a breakthrough she had in learning to connect…
The Parenting Pitfall We All Get Stuck In
There’s a parenting pitfall that nearly all parents get stuck in at some point: “If my child behaves well, I am a good parent. If my child misbehaves, I am a bad parent.” Stated so bluntly, it’s obviously not true,…
When Kids Say “I Hate You!” How Can Parents Respond?
“I hate you!” There are certainly plenty of parents who have heard those disrespectful words. Some parents are deeply hurt (“I can’t believe you would say that, after all I do…”) while others get intensely angry (“It’s not okay to…
Are We Setting Our Kids Up to Be Uncooperative?
Parents can get in ruts. That’s true for me and I’m pretty sure it is for you, too. One rut that is familiar to many is the hurried race out the door because “we’re going to be late!!” Or how…
How Do Your Kids Feel When You Discipline Them?
As a typically impatient, “get it done” sort of dad, I found myself in our early parenting years using my big voice and strong presence to move my kids into action. This approach worked great for me! …But my wife Lynne,…
One of the Biggest Deterrents to Effective Discipline…
One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes. The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behavior. But over time, as kids tire of…
3 Sure-Fire Discipline Tips for When the Heat is On!
We talk to parents about discipline a lot. We talk about our entire Connected Families Framework and how it underpins true discipline — how parents need to be safe, connect with their kids, coach them to be capable and wise decision-makers, and then help them take responsibility.…
Why We Think “Showing Kids What’s What” Doesn’t Actually Work
Rick was feeling impatient with the way his wife was dealing with their children’s misbehavior. He shared his thoughts with me during a recent conversation: “I’ve always been the kind of dad that likes to get things done efficiently. When…