Tag emotions
Are We Teaching Our Kids to Be the Wrong Kind of Smart?
A recent article published in Time Magazine found that people with average IQ outperform people with high IQ 70% of the time. 90% of high performers have high emotional intelligence. Could it be we’re focusing way too much on one…
Your Parenting Skills Are Not the Most Important Thing. This Is.
Jesus said that “smart carpenters” build a sturdy house on solid rock. Then when the storms of life hit, nothing will move the house. This doesn’t mean storms won’t pelt the house from time to time, and even inflict some…
When You Want to Be Heard… Whisper
In our online course a parent once asked the following question: I see the difference you’re talking about between typical parenting and parenting with the four messages in mind… and I like the difference I see… here comes the BUT… what…
Why Does Communicating “You are Safe” Matter?
Recently we received this excellent and thoughtful question from David, a long-time follower of Connected Families, about why we have “You are SAFE with me” as our foundational message for parents to communicate to children: Why is ‘safe’ the foundation…
How to Be a Safer Parent
Today we’d like to share with you a story from the blog of Bo, a dad who with his wife Jen took our online course and shared with us this beautiful story of their journey to become safer parents. We…
“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…
Seven Minutes of Life-Changing Parenting Wisdom
When it comes to raising your kids, we know how frustrating it can be to put your whole heart into it over the years and continue seeing the same issues, the same misbehavior, the same fights, repeat themselves over and…
3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!
“You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go to your room and think about what…
Skiing, Tears, and Grace
At a recent ski meet I found myself twice in tears for people I’ve never met. The first time was when a young competitor “skied out,” meaning he missed a gate and was disqualified from the race. Nearby his parents gasped…
Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…