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What do I do when my child just says no?
Recently we received this question from Michelle: I am struggling with a tween who often says no to my requests. She is a good girl most of the time, but she will be disrespectful to me and I have no…
When You Want to Be Heard… Whisper
In our online course a parent once asked the following question: I see the difference you’re talking about between typical parenting and parenting with the four messages in mind… and I like the difference I see… here comes the BUT… what…
“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…
3 Signs of Unhelpful Consequences… and How to Fix Them!
¿Prefieres leer en español? ¡Haz clic aquí! “You’re stupid!” says the frustrated child. The parent feels annoyed, even a bit angry and responds, “You can’t talk to me that way! You’re grounded for the rest of the day! You go…
When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…
How to Turn Mischief into an Opportunity to Build Wisdom
Becky and her two daughters, six-year-old Brianna and four-year-old Maisie, were at a playdate. The girls were downstairs with an older girl who was bit of a mischievous spitfire. Maisie came up and Becky noticed immediately that her hair had…
Teaching Kids True Repentance [video]
When kids make a mistake, especially when they hurt others, most parents would agree that it’s important to learn repentance — for kids to feel sorry for what they’ve done. But in our pursuit of this goal, many parents settle…
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…
“My parents yelled, and I turned out fine…”
Q: "Why did my husband and I turn out to be respectful, well-adjusted, polite adults even though we were raised with spanking and yelling?"
Great question, and one we hear often.