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When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
Stressful Times Lead to Fertile Hearts
Painting pictures in my mind has been very helpful in my parenting journey. For example, when I’m upset and feel like my head is going to explode I imagine a balloon in my lungs filling and releasing air. When my…
How to Turn Mischief into an Opportunity to Build Wisdom
Becky and her two daughters, six-year-old Brianna and four-year-old Maisie, were at a playdate. The girls were downstairs with an older girl who was bit of a mischievous spitfire. Maisie came up and Becky noticed immediately that her hair had…
Teaching Kids True Repentance [video]
When kids make a mistake, especially when they hurt others, most parents would agree that it’s important to learn repentance — for kids to feel sorry for what they’ve done. But in our pursuit of this goal, many parents settle…
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…
“My parents yelled, and I turned out fine…”
Q: "Why did my husband and I turn out to be respectful, well-adjusted, polite adults even though we were raised with spanking and yelling?"
Great question, and one we hear often.
How to Turn a Parenting Fail into a Parenting Win
It was a Sunday evening. I was emotionally and physically done for the day and looking forward to a quiet house. Suddenly I overheard squabbling about who was the rightful owner of a large stuffed panda bear. My engagement with…
An Unconventional Solution to a Child’s Resistance
We often see a common parenting cycle when kids are prone to anxiety. In short, it goes like this: Child feels anxious Worried, but well-meaning parent “encourages” the child toward to overcome the anxiety by pushing the child The…
Are You Teaching Your Child to Ignore You?
We’ve often heard parents say, “I hate to yell, but the kids just won’t listen until I do!” If the kids aren’t listening to requests, it may be about more than inattentiveness. It could be that the family culture does…
When Kids Stay Irresponsible
Brian and Jana were very concerned about how much work it was to get their 8-year-old son, Brady, to do much of anything – look up from his book when they talked, get ready for school in the morning, get…