Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…
Category Correct
“My parents yelled, and I turned out fine…”
Q: "Why did my husband and I turn out to be respectful, well-adjusted, polite adults even though we were raised with spanking and yelling?"
Great question, and one we hear often.
How to Turn a Parenting Fail into a Parenting Win
It was a Sunday evening. I was emotionally and physically done for the day and looking forward to a quiet house. Suddenly I overheard squabbling about who was the rightful owner of a large stuffed panda bear. My engagement with…
An Unconventional Solution to a Child’s Resistance
We often see a common parenting cycle when kids are prone to anxiety. In short, it goes like this: Child feels anxious Worried, but well-meaning parent “encourages” the child toward to overcome the anxiety by pushing the child The…
Are You Teaching Your Child to Ignore You?
We’ve often heard parents say, “I hate to yell, but the kids just won’t listen until I do!” If the kids aren’t listening to requests, it may be about more than inattentiveness. It could be that the family culture does…
When Kids Stay Irresponsible
Brian and Jana were very concerned about how much work it was to get their 8-year-old son, Brady, to do much of anything – look up from his book when they talked, get ready for school in the morning, get…
What to do when your kids give you a defiant “NO”
When kids say “No!” parents tend to react rather than respond. Reacting tends to lead to unconstructive power struggles that follow this basic pattern: Child: “No!” Parent: “Yes!” Child: “No!” Parent: “Yes or else!” Child: “I don’t care!” Parent: “Well…
“Sometimes My Kids Deserve To Be Yelled At!”
Recently in a parent coaching session a parent shared a feeling that I’ve felt a few times myself: “Sometimes my kids deserve to be yelled at when I’ve asked them to do something multiple times and they ‘forget’ or don’t…
How Will Your Kids Remember Your Discipline When They’re 90?
Recently I attended a family reunion. We did lots of catching up, including reminiscing over family memories. A conversation that continued to pop up over the weekend was prompted by the question, “What is the maddest you ever saw your…
Would Your Child Run Away?
When people steal, disobey, defy, cheat, lash out, or otherwise sin, in their hearts they leave. They leave the safety of trustworthy relationships.