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Why We Think “Showing Kids What’s What” Doesn’t Actually Work
Rick was feeling impatient with the way his wife was dealing with their children’s misbehavior. He shared his thoughts with me during a recent conversation: “I’ve always been the kind of dad that likes to get things done efficiently. When…
How to Avoid Being Taken Hostage by Kids’ Demands
Parents sometimes feel like hostages to the intense demands of their children, intimidated into submission with the threat of “the big gun” – a deafening meltdown. One of our online course participants asked for help: Our 3 1/2 year old…
Why It’s Good That Your Kids Don’t Believe You
When kids melt down, we often counsel parents to respond with empathy. When you truly understand your struggling child, it strongly communicates the essential message, “You are loved no matter what!” Often, communicating empathy in the midst of misbehavior takes…
How do I get my son to stop talking back?
How do I get my 7-year-old son to stop talking back to everything we say? He is always right and we are always wrong! … We try discipline, taking away some of his toys, etc. but nothing seems to work.…
Whose Problem Is It?
Deep inside most parents is a strong urge to control their children. It may seem beneficial or even “work” for a few years, but there are diminishing returns if the goal of control is not given up significantly by…
A New Serenity Prayer
A prayer to memorize: God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that it’s me.
The Great Thing About Yelling…
The great thing about yelling is that it helps a parent unload a lot of frustration and for the moment feel a sense of control. The bad part is – that moment is short-lived. Whatever damage was done in the…
Is “Being the Parent” Actually Good Parenting?
I just read another decent parenting book by a well-known author. It’s got some good ideas in it about how to manage kids’ misbehavior. But like so many of the parenting books I read, it is laced with what I…
Why Kids Explode and What to Do About It
Just like us, our kids sometimes react angrily when something important to them feels attacked. First expressions of anger are almost always aggressive. As kids get old enough to express themselves, the aggression becomes words and actions. One day I…
A Parenting Fairy Tale…
Once upon a time, near a woods far away, there was a family named the Scrumpkins. Bingle (the dad) and Kalinda (the mom) were fearful of what might happen to their children if they explored the dark, foreboding woods behind…