Safety First
At a banquet I attended I sat near a father and his two elementary-aged sons. They were playful and I engaged with them the way I often do with young kids, purposefully playing, laughing, and connecting. When the host announced…
Tag obedience
“I’m Just SO Tired!”
Annie had one idea in mind. Her exhausted five-year-old son had another. By applying what she learned through Connected Families, Annie experienced a sweet parenting moment with her son. I attended a workshop given by Connected Families a couple years…
Telling vs Asking
What’s the difference between telling and asking? I’m a teller by nature. It seems easier. Maybe just more efficient, really. I tell my child what to do and then she does it. I tell her the answer to the question…
Powerful Strategies to Fill Your Parenting with Peace and Confidence [podcast]
Recently Jim and Lynne sat down with the folks over at the Positive Parenting podcast to talk about how to discipline in a way that actually connects with kids. The full podcast is 30 minutes — Listen or download below:…
How Do Your Kids Feel When You Discipline Them?
As a typically impatient, “get it done” sort of dad, I found myself in our early parenting years using my big voice and strong presence to move my kids into action. This approach worked great for me! …But my wife Lynne,…
One of the Biggest Deterrents to Effective Discipline…
One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes. The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behavior. But over time, as kids tire of…
How I Got My Kids to Obey Immediately… and Why I Stopped
I remember like yesterday walking in the door after work to what I believed were out-of-control children in my wife’s care. She’d lean into me for help and I’d quickly get the kids in line. “Why can’t Lynne get this?”…
What do I do when my child just says no?
Recently we received this question from Michelle: I am struggling with a tween who often says no to my requests. She is a good girl most of the time, but she will be disrespectful to me and I have no…
When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
The Real Reason for a Lot of Misbehavior
Have you ever noticed that kids rarely misbehave when they feel truly happy and deeply secure? There’s a reason for this. When our children misbehave, there is almost always underlying discouragement or anxiety that drives the misbehavior. Rushing to address…