Tag obedience
What do I do when my child just says no?
Recently we received this question from Michelle: I am struggling with a tween who often says no to my requests. She is a good girl most of the time, but she will be disrespectful to me and I have no…
When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
The Real Reason for a Lot of Misbehavior
Have you ever noticed that kids rarely misbehave when they feel truly happy and deeply secure? There’s a reason for this. When our children misbehave, there is almost always underlying discouragement or anxiety that drives the misbehavior. Rushing to address…
An Unconventional Solution to a Child’s Resistance
We often see a common parenting cycle when kids are prone to anxiety. In short, it goes like this: Child feels anxious Worried, but well-meaning parent “encourages” the child toward to overcome the anxiety by pushing the child The…
Are You Teaching Your Child to Ignore You?
We’ve often heard parents say, “I hate to yell, but the kids just won’t listen until I do!” If the kids aren’t listening to requests, it may be about more than inattentiveness. It could be that the family culture does…
“Sometimes My Kids Deserve To Be Yelled At!”
Recently in a parent coaching session a parent shared a feeling that I’ve felt a few times myself: “Sometimes my kids deserve to be yelled at when I’ve asked them to do something multiple times and they ‘forget’ or don’t…
When Kids Misbehave Throw a Party!
Every parent wants obedient children. But the parent who wants an obedient child without putting in the hard work to earn that child’s trust is on shaky ground. You see, true obedience grows out of the soil of trust. Compliance,…
Why Won’t My Kid Do the Dishes?
Recently we got an email from a mom asking what to do when her 10-year-old son refused to help with the dishes after dinner, even when punished with spanking or loss of electronics. Conflicts around chores are something that many…
What Does It Mean to “Be The Parent”?
Parents frequently say, “It’s my job to ‘be the parent’, not my kid’s friend!” Or, “My kids need to learn that I don’t have to explain everything. Sometimes they just need to know that it’s time to obey without explanation,…
A Parenting Fairy Tale…
Once upon a time, near a woods far away, there was a family named the Scrumpkins. Bingle (the dad) and Kalinda (the mom) were fearful of what might happen to their children if they explored the dark, foreboding woods behind…