“As our kids have experienced our grace and calm during intense moments, they have begun to really blossom.”

At Connected Families, we hear lots of stories about how our unique framework for parenting breathes life into families of all kinds. One such family took our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course and the mom shared a powerful testimony about helping her intense child come to believe the message, “You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.” She did it in a connected way that empowered her daughter to do her chores, as well as make things right with a sibling she had offended.

My 9-year-old free-spirited daughter struggles with both staying on task and emotional regulation. As I learn to practice grace and calm during intense moments she is really blossoming! Recently as she was dancing around the living room, instead of snapping or reminding her again, I asked her, “What do you need to start your chore?” Elisa paused, grinned sheepishly, and headed for the kitchen, quietly washing the dishes. Wow! That made me feel like dancing too!

Tonight, on the way home, she started shouting at her 12-year-old sister. I asked her, “What do you need to do to make things right?” Not long after she gave me a hug and said she was sorry. She then headed to her sister’s room. When she returned she was smiling. She agreed that God wants everyone in our family to feel safe with each other.

After lots of time in prayer and failure I have begun to look for the good in my children–and find it. Curiosity about “What’s going on in me?” helped me realize that I needed the assurance of safety, love-no-matter-what, calling, and responsibility in my relationship with God, myself, and my husband. This gives me the confidence to step back, stay calm, and turn my eyes to Jesus.

My husband and I benefited (and continue to benefit) from Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart, and other Connected Families resources. I have growing hope in God’s power to keep us following Him with a whole lot of dancing!

Are you struggling with how to use consequences in your house that teach your kids to make right what they’ve made wrong? We’ve been there and we want to help!