Tag anger
7 Peaceful, Powerful Ways to Connect with an Angry Child
Everyone would agree that loving our children is one of the most important things a parent can do. But sometimes expressing that love isn’t as easy as it sounds. Sarafina wrote about a breakthrough she had in learning to connect…
When Kids Say “I Hate You!” How Can Parents Respond?
“I hate you!” There are certainly plenty of parents who have heard those disrespectful words. Some parents are deeply hurt (“I can’t believe you would say that, after all I do…”) while others get intensely angry (“It’s not okay to…
One of the Biggest Deterrents to Effective Discipline…
One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes. The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behavior. But over time, as kids tire of…
Why I Love the Huge Dent in My Floor
In our kitchen, there is a huge dent in the floor. I see it every day. It is a reminder to me of the day in which I learned something important about myself when it comes to discipline. It was…
My Kids’ Messes Drive Me CRAZY!
For years I have struggled with the mess that our lively, spontaneous, creative, frequently disorganized children made at high speed. I used to call it “Trash and Dash.” Since their father has somewhat more “relaxed” standards of housekeeping than I…
Why “It Is NOT OK to Talk That Way!” Doesn’t Work
There are many ways in which parents intentionally or unintentionally model positive character qualities: self-control, caring, diligence, faithfulness, etc. But we can also model negative character qualities, especially when we’re not thoughtful!
“It was hard to be mad when you were so kind to me.”
In my role as a parenting speaker I do a lot of role plays with people in the audience. Though I had seen a lot of yelling, whining, and laughter from these role plays, I had never seen tears —…
What to Do When You Dislike Your Child
During the very difficult years of early parenting, I would go through long times of despair, as well as periods of dislike for one or more of my children. I felt horribly guilty as well as angry with my family…
Does Giving Time Outs Actually Help Your Child?
I distinctly remember years ago sitting in a pre-adoption class through our agency and silently scoffing when the presenter suggested during discipline situations to take a “time-in” with your child rather than send them to their room for a “time-out.”…
“You’re the worst mom ever! Everybody hates you!”
Sometimes when parents make constructive parenting changes, things appear to get worse before they get better. This is because changes, even positive ones, throw kids off-balance. They live by a well-learned set of unwritten rules and it sometimes takes a…