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Tag obedience
One of the Biggest Deterrents to Effective Discipline…
One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes. The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behavior. But over time, as kids tire of…
How I Got My Kids to Obey Immediately… and Why I Stopped
I remember like yesterday walking in the door after work to what I believed were out-of-control children in my wife’s care. She’d lean into me for help and I’d quickly get the kids in line. “Why can’t Lynne get this?”…
What do I do when my child just says no?
Recently we received this question from Michelle: I am struggling with a tween who often says no to my requests. She is a good girl most of the time, but she will be disrespectful to me and I have no…
When is defiance better than obedience?
I’ll never forget her statement. I was speaking to a grade-school teacher in a Christian school about behavior problems with her students. In the context of the conversation she actually seemed more upset about the obedient kids than the…
The Real Reason for a Lot of Misbehavior
Have you ever noticed that kids rarely misbehave when they feel truly happy and deeply secure? There’s a reason for this. When our children misbehave, there is almost always underlying discouragement or anxiety that drives the misbehavior. Rushing to address…
An Unconventional Solution to a Child’s Resistance
We often see a common parenting cycle when kids are prone to anxiety. In short, it goes like this: Child feels anxious Worried, but well-meaning parent “encourages” the child toward to overcome the anxiety by pushing the child The…
Are You Teaching Your Child to Ignore You?
We’ve often heard parents say, “I hate to yell, but the kids just won’t listen until I do!” If the kids aren’t listening to requests, it may be about more than inattentiveness. It could be that the family culture does…
“Sometimes My Kids Deserve To Be Yelled At!”
Recently in a parent coaching session a parent shared a feeling that I’ve felt a few times myself: “Sometimes my kids deserve to be yelled at when I’ve asked them to do something multiple times and they ‘forget’ or don’t…
When Kids Misbehave Throw a Party!
Every parent wants obedient children. But the parent who wants an obedient child without putting in the hard work to earn that child’s trust is on shaky ground. You see, true obedience grows out of the soil of trust. Compliance,…
Why Won’t My Kid Do the Dishes?
Recently we got an email from a mom asking what to do when her 10-year-old son refused to help with the dishes after dinner, even when punished with spanking or loss of electronics. Conflicts around chores are something that many…