Give the Gift of Connection
Tag anger
Why “Stop it!” Doesn’t Work
I’d HAD it! I was sick of this aggravating behavior, day after day. I stopped in my tracks, glared at the little one who was driving me crazy, and yelled at the top of my lungs, “STOP IT!!” Do you…
3 Game-Changing Questions to Show Your Kids They’re Worth It
It can be hard work to grow as a parent. Especially when no matter how hard you try, things can still go haywire. Old patterns die hard, and it’s normal to fall into the default of huffing and puffing to…
Staying Connected With Your Teen
When kids become teens, they start acting like they don’t need us. If we don’t understand why they’re doing this, and figure out ways to respond gracefully, we risk building resentment in the relationship. It helps to understand that teens…
7 Peaceful, Powerful Ways to Connect with an Angry Child
Everyone would agree that loving our children is one of the most important things a parent can do. But sometimes expressing that love isn’t as easy as it sounds. Sarafina wrote about a breakthrough she had in learning to connect…
When Kids Say “I Hate You!” How Can Parents Respond?
“I hate you!” There are certainly plenty of parents who have heard those disrespectful words. Some parents are deeply hurt (“I can’t believe you would say that, after all I do…”) while others get intensely angry (“It’s not okay to…
One of the Biggest Deterrents to Effective Discipline…
One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes. The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behavior. But over time, as kids tire of…
Why I Love the Huge Dent in My Floor
In our kitchen, there is a huge dent in the floor. I see it every day. It is a reminder to me of the day in which I learned something important about myself when it comes to discipline. It was…
My Kids’ Messes Drive Me CRAZY!
For years I have struggled with the mess that our lively, spontaneous, creative, frequently disorganized children made at high speed. I used to call it “Trash and Dash.” Since their father has somewhat more “relaxed” standards of housekeeping than I…
Why “It Is NOT OK to Talk That Way!” Doesn’t Work
There are many ways in which parents intentionally or unintentionally model positive character qualities: self-control, caring, diligence, faithfulness, etc. But we can also model negative character qualities, especially when we’re not thoughtful!
“It was hard to be mad when you were so kind to me.”
In my role as a parenting speaker I do a lot of role plays with people in the audience. Though I had seen a lot of yelling, whining, and laughter from these role plays, I had never seen tears —…