What to Do When We Blow Up

 

As hard as we try to parent like God would, we are human, and sometimes we mess up. We lose our cool, we speak harshly, or sometimes we even blow up at our kids. See how one mom handled her blow-up:

The boys wouldn’t stop fighting. When Garrett finally hit his brother I got really angry, separated them, and harshly told Garrett to pick up his whole room. “You have to do something good with your hands instead of hitting!” He cried and cried and complained how bad his stomach hurt. I just let him cry as I fumed in the living room and prayed for help!

After awhile, I went to Garrett’s room and gently told him to stop cleaning because we were going to go somewhere. He stopped crying immediately. We jumped in the car, just Garrett and me, and we talked about what happened. I apologized to him for getting so angry. He asked where we were going. I said, “To get ice cream.”  He said, “Really?” in a very surprised way. I said, “Yes. God gives us grace when we make mistakes and it is important to give grace to each other. There is a verse in the Bible that talks about being gentle with people. We’ll look it up when we get home. I still want you to clean your room when we get home and apologize to your brother when you’re ready.”

We continued to enjoy our ice cream time and when we got home, we talked about Col. 3:12 – “As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be…kind, humble, gentle, and patient,” and I helped him understand it.  Afterwards, Garrett went right to his room and spent the next 20 minutes singing in his room as he cleaned up everything! When he was done he found his brother and apologized.

We can disciple our children even in the midst of a conflict. When we respond to the Holy Spirit’s conviction through scripture,

1. Our hearts are softened toward our children.
2. We model a love for God’s word and a tender, humble heart that listens to the Holy Spirit.
3. Scripture becomes delightfully appealing because of the aroma of love and grace it brings through us to them!

When we are able to be graceful with ourselves, we can calm down and teach our children about God’s ever-present love in the process!

Want to learn more about these concepts? Download our one hour recording of a Discipline That Connects workshop.