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Effective discipline doesn’t start where you think
It is inevitable that your kids will misbehave. After all, they’re human! Side note: same goes for you. 😉
How you respond when your child misbehaves will build identity messages that last a lifetime. You would never intentionally send messages such as, “You are a problem.” or “You are irresponsible.”
However, these are often the types of messages kids perceive… and those messages can potentially build a lifetime identity.
The problem is, as parents, we usually want to start discipline by addressing misbehavior. But effective discipline is ultimately not about behavior. It’s about wisdom and identity. Effective discipline is discipleship!
Effective discipline starts with you
Connected Family’s framework for effective discipline turns many of your parenting instincts upside down. Instead of starting with your child’s misbehavior, the Framework starts with YOU.
What’s going on inside of me? The Framework invites you to ask this question FIRST. From there, you can learn to connect with your child’s heart, even in the middle of this challenging discipline moment.

Learn to respond to misbehavior with wisdom and grace
Your job, as a parent, isn’t to have perfectly behaved shiny children; It is to learn how to parent wisely. Your child’s job, over time, is to learn how to respond wisely.
Watch this short video to learn how The Connected Families Framework works in all discipline situations. Then scroll down and choose the right next step for you.

Get your FREE ebook
To get a good overview of the Connected Families Framework (and understand how the way you discipline develops identity-based messages) read the FREE ebook 4 Messages Every Child Longs To Hear.
Then check out the articles below, as you work through the levels of the Connected Families Framework.




Not ready to read everything at once?
No problem. Sign up for our “Discipline That Connects” email sequence and you’ll receive a 4-part email series to get you started.
Dig deeper and transform your parenting
Twice a year we offer an in-depth, 8-session online parenting course called Discipline That Connects. If you want to join the next cohort, add your email below, so you don’t miss the announcement when registration opens.
Our latest on effective discipline

Teaching Kids to Deal with Mean Words and Hurtful Comments | Ep. 273
When your child hears something unkind, those words can stick: shaping how they see themselves and the world around them. In this episode, we’re launching…

Trash, Truth, Treasure: How to React When Someone Says Hurtful Things
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Parenting Adopted Children: Building Connection After Trauma | Ep. 272
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Identifying Child Strengths: Finding God’s Gifts in Your Kid | [Mini-Episode]
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Rewards for Kids: 9 Wisdom-Filled Guidelines to Get Beyond Bribing
A research- and biblically-based perspective on “bribing” kids

Unconditional Love: 15 Reasons to Show Love-No-Matter-What to Your Kids
While parents assume their children know they’re loved, unconditional love must be actively demonstrated during misbehavior, not just good times. When Andy shifted from firm…

Connected Families’ October Podcast Mission
This month, we are sharing 24 mini-podcast episodes featuring parenting wisdom from our Discipline That Connects course which teaches the Connected Families Framework. One episode,…

Connected Families Framework: A Stewardship Story of Growth and Grace | Ep. 245
In this special “virtual family time” episode about the Connected Families Framework, you’ll hear Jim and Lynne Jackson join Stacy Bellward (host) for a fun…


