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Effective discipline doesn’t start where you think
It is inevitable that your kids will misbehave. After all, they’re human! Side note: same goes for you. 😉
How you respond when your child misbehaves will build identity messages that last a lifetime. You would never intentionally send messages such as, “You are a problem.” or “You are irresponsible.”
However, these are often the types of messages kids perceive… and those messages can potentially build a lifetime identity.
The problem is, as parents, we usually want to start discipline by addressing misbehavior. But effective discipline is ultimately not about behavior. It’s about wisdom and identity. Effective discipline is discipleship!
Effective discipline starts with you
Connected Family’s framework for effective discipline turns many of your parenting instincts upside down. Instead of starting with your child’s misbehavior, the Framework starts with YOU.
What’s going on inside of me? The Framework invites you to ask this question FIRST. From there, you can learn to connect with your child’s heart, even in the middle of this challenging discipline moment.

Learn to respond to misbehavior with wisdom and grace
Your job, as a parent, isn’t to have perfectly behaved shiny children; It is to learn how to parent wisely. Your child’s job, over time, is to learn how to respond wisely.
Watch this short video to learn how The Connected Families Framework works in all discipline situations. Then scroll down and choose the right next step for you.

Get your FREE ebook
To get a good overview of the Connected Families Framework (and understand how the way you discipline develops identity-based messages) read the FREE ebook 4 Messages Every Child Longs To Hear.
Then check out the articles below, as you work through the levels of the Connected Families Framework.




Not ready to read everything at once?
No problem. Sign up for our “Discipline That Connects” email sequence and you’ll receive a 4-part email series to get you started.
Dig deeper and transform your parenting
Twice a year we offer an in-depth, 8-session online parenting course called Discipline That Connects. If you want to join the next cohort, add your email below, so you don’t miss the announcement when registration opens.
Our latest on effective discipline

Want to Stop Yelling at Your Kids? Try Slow Low and Listen | Ep. 225
Listen in as Jim & Lynne Jackson, Connected Families Co-Founders, teach the parenting concept “Slow, Low, & Listen.” This simple tool can help you develop…

How to Break Habits of Harshness: Try Slow, Low, & Listen Next Time
3 Ways to Break Habits of Harshness

Attachment Myths Busted: How Your Attachment Style Shapes Everything | Ep. 224
Listen in as we talk with Dr. Nicole Wilke about attachment and its profound impact on family relationships. Dr. Wilke, a researcher, missionary, author, and…

Explaining Sin to Children Without Shame: 7 Important Reminders for Parents
How do you talk to your kids about sin? Many people are hesitant to use the word “sin” as it often carries connotations of self-righteousness,…

Emmanuel in the Ambulance: How God Shows Up in Our Darkest Hours | Ep. 223
In this episode, listen in as Brendon and Naomi Yoder share how they’ve maintained faith through multiple hardships, including the loss of their infant daughter,…

Retained Primitive Reflexes: Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Development | Ep. 222
Is your child struggling with emotional regulation, sitting still, or the feel of their clothing? These challenges could be linked to retained primitive reflexes. In…

Demand Avoidance: When Is My Child’s Pushback Actually Pathological? | 221
Have you ever asked your child to do a simple task, only to be met with an explosive reaction? In this episode, we interview Lydia…

From Slamming Doors to Peace: How to Calm a Dysregulated Child | Ep. 220
In this episode of the Connected Families podcast, we explore how to calm a dysregulated child with insights from Certified Connected Families Parent Coaches Alan…

BONUS: Introducing The Table – A New Path to Transformative Parenting
In this bonus episode of the Connected Families podcast, host Stacy Bellward and Executive Director Anna Braasch announce the launch of The Table, a new…

Why Little (And Not-So-Little) Kids With Big Emotions Benefit From Big Empathy
Got a child with big emotions? Toddlers and teens are known for their explosions of big feelings, but many kids simply “feel deeply” all their…